By far the most shocking Front Office Incident in our mythology is the story of how the most beloved of our gods, Ganeshjee, got an elephant's head over his human torso.
There are hundreds of versions of this story but I like the one told me by my Father best...it is always so with childhood imprinting.
According to my Father, there was once a terrific commotion in the Himalayan precincts. A wild elephant went berserk and was trampling on anyone that came in his path (he was in musth, maybe). He was acting like the proverbial bull in the china shop. Everyone was running helter-skelter and at last the survivors went up the Kailas Mountain and prayed to Lord Shiva to rescue them from the depredations of the menacing predator.
Lord Shiva said: "Just a moment" to his consort Parvati and went in search of the Destroyer of Peace in his dominion (Shiva means peace and bliss). But by then the elephant made good speed and Shiva was rather late returning home. Parvati got bored waiting for her husband and wanted to get done with her delayed ablutions (shampoo bath). Since there was no one at home to guard the gates, she took a mound of sandalwood paste, modeled it into the figure of a boy and breathed life into it...and Ganesha was born. And she fell in love with her own delightful creation (rather like Pygmalion). And asked Ganesha to guard the gates of the bathroom and prevent any male from intruding.
Ganesha took up his position and the first male to come in was Shiva himself, tired, angry and hungry, and carrying the head of the slain elephant in his hands as a trophy to Parvati.
But Ganesha couldn't make out who he was (there were no Business Cards then) and duly stopped Shiva in his tracks. Shiva naturally got wild and beheaded this insolent urchin and went in. Knowing what happened, Parvati was inconsolable that her Lord killed her own creation. Shiva was sorry and wanted to make quick amends (He was hungry as my Father told you) and so transplanted the Elephant's head He was carrying onto the boy's torso...He could as well have replaced the original head of the boy that was lying on the floor, but as you know, people lose their cool when angry and hungry.
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After debating with myself quite a while, I concluded that the one that most needs a Front Office Assistant is the Physician. It is not wise for him to entertain more than one patient at a time.
In this context I recall the Punch Cartoon which showed a blonde sitting upright on the dressing table of her Physician and asking:
"Doctor, when do I start stripping?"
Of all the doctors who need privacy with their patients, I discovered that Psychiatrists need their Front Office most. Their patients are not exactly sane but insanity has hundreds of shades and colors and it is best not to mix up; unlike headache and fever for which Dolo-650 will do for all.
Here I recall a cartoon in a Weekly Magazine in my boyhood which showed a man suffering from Depression squatting on the ceiling fan and singing joyfully. His wife explains to their visitor:
"The Doctor wrote 'six pills every hour' instead of 'one pill every six hours'. "
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At IIT KGP for a long long while no HoD in Physics had a Front Office with a spoilsport Secretary.
But the Director's Office had one...Mr Biswas (no one called him Biswas-da because he never socialized and most everyone was scared of his no-nonsense persona, at least I was).
Once I went to the Director's Office accompanying one of my colleagues, D, who wanted to meet the Director (I never wanted to).
D: Can I see the Director for a moment please? It is official work
B: No! He is busy
D: When can I see him?
B: Next Friday after office hours
It just happened that the Director came out of his Chamber, saw D, approached him, put his hands on D's shoulder, took him inside and gave him tea and biscuits (they were trying to collaborate on a book).
After his retirement and reemployment in STEP, I came to know Mr Biswas somewhat closely...both of us were ripe by then. And found him a most pleasant, efficient, and courteous gentleman...it was the nature of his job...like so many traffic policemen...they must all be good husbands and fathers and friends if you meet them at their homes...
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I happened to act as a Front Office Bully to my friend N, who was always in one or the other administrative positions at KGP. He was so nice that he could never say 'no' to folks who wanted to meet him. And so he had no time for himself during Office Hours.
When he was tired and wanted quality time for himself, he used to walk down into my room and take me to Harry's for a cup of tea. And many would see him and try to mob him with some request or the other...but seeing me beside him they would recoil...such was my reputation as a groucho...ask Indra:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2011/09/sweet-sixty.html
I used to joke with my friend that he was using me as Arjun used Shikhandi (hermaphrodite) to fight Bhishmacharya.
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