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"As one delves deeper and deeper into Etiquette (by Emily Post), disquieting thoughts come. That old Is-It-Worth-It Blues starts up again, softly, perhaps, but plainly. Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness."
...Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker is the grannie of Shobha De...in matters of blasting icons.
The first time I met this queer-looking word was when I was in school library. I didn't know how to pronounce it nor its meaning. I had to ask my Father.
And then there was this Uncle of mine (younger brother of my Literary Uncle). He was a genius; but Fate struck him a hard blow and he had a brain tumor that snatched him away at the tender age of 25. But he used to appear privately for his BA exams without any coaching but yet he used to be in the top 10.
One day when I was in their drawing room, alone, reading the latest issue of Chandamama, a rickshaw arrived and he got down from it with a lot of difficulty. And ambled in with the help of a walking stick. There was a memorable twinkle in his eyes and when he saw me he said: "I got it at the last minute." He was returning from his Eng Lit Paper II which had a passage in Old English to be translated into Modern English. (Old is from the 5th to 12th Century, Middle from 12th to 15th). He told me he got every word right but was stuck up unable to get one word in the passage however hard he tried. He was about to submit his answer script but at the last minute he got it. And the word was: "Etiquette"....that sort of explains the weird spellings of some English words.
At home when I was in school we never followed any etiquette. It was all a very friendly affair. But as soon as I was admitted to College living in my Shakespeare Uncle's home, all sorts of new rules that I wasn't aware of came up. For instance, if a Teacher happens to be walking and a student is coming on his push bike facing his Teacher on the road, it is expected that the student gets down, walks silently till they cross and resumes his ride. That much is ok. But there was this truculent Math Teacher who expected that any student biking past him from behind should also get down and walk, overtake and then get up on his bike. Any student who omitted this etiquette by chance will be hauled up in the class and reprimanded. I didn't have a bike, but someone or the other of my friends used to give me a lift (sitting precariously on the front rod...we never had a carrier at the back); and both of us had to get down and get up at least half a dozen times on our way to College and back. Queer!
And when I joined the University, things appeared very informal but that is only appearance. Any student coming late to the lecture class was expected to stand at the threshold till the teacher's eye catches him and he orders: "Come in". And those who are already in have to get up till the teacher settles down in his chair and barks: "Sit down". One of our classmates, a rich and handsome chap used to be invariably late to all the lecture classes. I asked him why. And he said that that half a minute at the threshold was the only way to show off his new dress and make up to the girls in the front row. Teachers never caught on.
Surprisingly, I found this disgusting etiquette followed scrupulously by IIT students in the 1960s. I banished this practice...it is so distracting...and I used to announce that latecomers should quietly sneak in without disturbing the class. And no one need stand up when I take the roll call or ask a question. That was a relief for all concerned. I guess by and by this etiquette was dumped in the dustbin...I don't know.
And then there was this quandary...suppose you have a lecture class at 10 AM. And you find that the door is closed with no noise from within. I have seen people bend down and peep through the keyhole to find who is the teacher delaying them. It was an ugly scene I thought...a Senior Professor acting like a peeping-tom. There was never any standard etiquette as to what the teacher stranded outside ought to do. Some used to knock vigorously on the closed door, like the passengers in a hurry to enter the Railway Common Loo used to do when they find the other passenger inside was blocking their bowels. I never did that too...it looked so odd.
My practice was to stand outside, leaning on the window sill or balcony arm-rest and wait till the one inside had his (or her) say to their hearts' content. And when they emerge and say, "Sorry", I would smile and thank them for reducing my load by ten minutes or twenty as the case maybe.
I had a curious encounter with Prof Sayan Kar within a few months of his joining the Department. He was taking a lecture in the Hall opposite the Phy Office and I was waiting in the balcony for him to finish since I had the next period to teach. Suddenly, Prof N emerged out of the Office, walked towards the Lecture Hall whose door was shut and knocked briskly on it four or five times and walked away to his room upstairs as if he was sleep-walking.
And then I knew I was in trouble but was curious to see what happens. In a few minutes, SK emerged, his face red with rage, came down to me and asked: "Was it you who knocked on the door repeatedly?"
I said, "No", but he was clearly not convinced...that is what is called "circumstantial evidence" in legal parlance. I could have added that it was N who knocked and ran away...but that would hardly have convinced SK...unless he went up and cross-examined N, who would surely have shouted: "What door and which lecture hall and why?"
So I left it at that.
What would YOU have done in my place?
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"As one delves deeper and deeper into Etiquette (by Emily Post), disquieting thoughts come. That old Is-It-Worth-It Blues starts up again, softly, perhaps, but plainly. Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness."
...Dorothy Parker
*****************************************************************************************************
Dorothy Parker is the grannie of Shobha De...in matters of blasting icons.
The first time I met this queer-looking word was when I was in school library. I didn't know how to pronounce it nor its meaning. I had to ask my Father.
And then there was this Uncle of mine (younger brother of my Literary Uncle). He was a genius; but Fate struck him a hard blow and he had a brain tumor that snatched him away at the tender age of 25. But he used to appear privately for his BA exams without any coaching but yet he used to be in the top 10.
One day when I was in their drawing room, alone, reading the latest issue of Chandamama, a rickshaw arrived and he got down from it with a lot of difficulty. And ambled in with the help of a walking stick. There was a memorable twinkle in his eyes and when he saw me he said: "I got it at the last minute." He was returning from his Eng Lit Paper II which had a passage in Old English to be translated into Modern English. (Old is from the 5th to 12th Century, Middle from 12th to 15th). He told me he got every word right but was stuck up unable to get one word in the passage however hard he tried. He was about to submit his answer script but at the last minute he got it. And the word was: "Etiquette"....that sort of explains the weird spellings of some English words.
At home when I was in school we never followed any etiquette. It was all a very friendly affair. But as soon as I was admitted to College living in my Shakespeare Uncle's home, all sorts of new rules that I wasn't aware of came up. For instance, if a Teacher happens to be walking and a student is coming on his push bike facing his Teacher on the road, it is expected that the student gets down, walks silently till they cross and resumes his ride. That much is ok. But there was this truculent Math Teacher who expected that any student biking past him from behind should also get down and walk, overtake and then get up on his bike. Any student who omitted this etiquette by chance will be hauled up in the class and reprimanded. I didn't have a bike, but someone or the other of my friends used to give me a lift (sitting precariously on the front rod...we never had a carrier at the back); and both of us had to get down and get up at least half a dozen times on our way to College and back. Queer!
And when I joined the University, things appeared very informal but that is only appearance. Any student coming late to the lecture class was expected to stand at the threshold till the teacher's eye catches him and he orders: "Come in". And those who are already in have to get up till the teacher settles down in his chair and barks: "Sit down". One of our classmates, a rich and handsome chap used to be invariably late to all the lecture classes. I asked him why. And he said that that half a minute at the threshold was the only way to show off his new dress and make up to the girls in the front row. Teachers never caught on.
Surprisingly, I found this disgusting etiquette followed scrupulously by IIT students in the 1960s. I banished this practice...it is so distracting...and I used to announce that latecomers should quietly sneak in without disturbing the class. And no one need stand up when I take the roll call or ask a question. That was a relief for all concerned. I guess by and by this etiquette was dumped in the dustbin...I don't know.
And then there was this quandary...suppose you have a lecture class at 10 AM. And you find that the door is closed with no noise from within. I have seen people bend down and peep through the keyhole to find who is the teacher delaying them. It was an ugly scene I thought...a Senior Professor acting like a peeping-tom. There was never any standard etiquette as to what the teacher stranded outside ought to do. Some used to knock vigorously on the closed door, like the passengers in a hurry to enter the Railway Common Loo used to do when they find the other passenger inside was blocking their bowels. I never did that too...it looked so odd.
My practice was to stand outside, leaning on the window sill or balcony arm-rest and wait till the one inside had his (or her) say to their hearts' content. And when they emerge and say, "Sorry", I would smile and thank them for reducing my load by ten minutes or twenty as the case maybe.
I had a curious encounter with Prof Sayan Kar within a few months of his joining the Department. He was taking a lecture in the Hall opposite the Phy Office and I was waiting in the balcony for him to finish since I had the next period to teach. Suddenly, Prof N emerged out of the Office, walked towards the Lecture Hall whose door was shut and knocked briskly on it four or five times and walked away to his room upstairs as if he was sleep-walking.
And then I knew I was in trouble but was curious to see what happens. In a few minutes, SK emerged, his face red with rage, came down to me and asked: "Was it you who knocked on the door repeatedly?"
I said, "No", but he was clearly not convinced...that is what is called "circumstantial evidence" in legal parlance. I could have added that it was N who knocked and ran away...but that would hardly have convinced SK...unless he went up and cross-examined N, who would surely have shouted: "What door and which lecture hall and why?"
So I left it at that.
What would YOU have done in my place?
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3 comments:
Nowadays with iPhone and all - one can just take a picture and seal the proof!
-Saswat
Please, Please....what happened next?
Nothing untoward happened...SK accepted my "No" and left. And I entered the class room and bored my students stiff.
It took less than a year for me and SK to understand each other and become friends.
And after my retirement he was the one who inspired me to write...
I owe the beginning of my blogging to him largely...starting with "SDM Snippets" which were about 8 in number and were a follow-up of my SDM Homage in Ansatz. These seem to have vanished from my blogspot...I must have deleted them inadvertently.
But, yes, I can post an entire blog on my 3-decade-encounters with the other Prof who played our childhood version of the game called the "Postman's Knock"..knock, knock, and run..
That is in the future tense...
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