Sunday, February 10, 2013

Gimmicks - 1

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 wiki

A North-Indian brahmin by name Dronacharya was miffed with King Drupada who insulted him. And Dron was walking and planning how to avenge his humiliation. And then he found a group of boys (Pandavas and Kauravas before they started fighting among themselves) looking down into a well and feeling forlorn because their football fell into it. Dronaharya retrieved it by shooting a series of improvised elongated devices (IEDs) into the football one after the other and pulled it out. 

That was a great gimmick. And the princes were amazed and asked Dhritarashtra to appoint Dron as their Teacher in Warfare. After settling down in the job and getting promoted again and again he finally asked his employers to bring King Drupada tied hand foot and dragged after his chariot, as a bonus.

There was another North-Indian brahmin called Chanakya. He was insulted by King Nanda and swore revenge that he wouldn't tie his tuft of hair till Nanda was defeated and dethroned. And he went along walking barefooted into the kingdom of Chandragupta. And a thorn got stuck into his foot and it bled. He got so angry with the thorn that he pulled it out, burned it, ground the burnt thorn into ashes, poured the ashes into a glass of water and drank that glass of water in a single gulp.

That was another great gimmick. Those who were watching his crazy performance took him to the court of Chandragupta who asked him for an explanation of his queer conduct. Upon which Chanakya expounds the basic tenet of warfare that the enemy should not only be vanquished but decimated, never to rise again. He was then and there appointed Chandragupta's PM and eventually enticed him to conquer and decimate King Nanda's empire. He was bestowed the title Kautilya (the crafty one) and went on to write two treatises: (1) Artha Shastra (Digital Finance) and (2) Neeti Shastra (Diplomacy, also digital).

There was a South Indian Brahmin by name PVNR who became India's PM willy-nilly by virtue of an unexpected vacancy and found that his treasury was empty. And he did the pre-eminent gimmick of pledging the country's gold to the IMF to showcase how bankrupt the earlier regime made India. This was the excuse for him to liberalize Indian economy and make it globalized, with the help of an apolitical economist. And he was praised as Modern Chanakya (by other brahmins) for his ability to steer formidable and far-reaching reforms through a minority Congress government without help from the Nehru-Gandhi clan.

So, it is better not to antagonize brahmins, whether from the North or the South or the Tamilian brahmins who go on fasts from breakfast to early dinner or the Bengali brahmins who wear their tempers on their cotton blouses.



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