Sunday, February 3, 2013

My Salsemanship

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A couple of weeks back I found myself at a loose end waiting and marking time for half an hour to receive a promised guest. So I thought I would visit the Marketing Office of our fledgling Gated Community, take my seat in the oily sofa and browse the tattered and scattered news-sheets and ogle at the prospective fish. Appa Rao, the Office Boy, has always been kind to me and would fetch me a cup of free hot coffee since I am an early bird in the Community and their oldest resident.

As I was parking my car in the lot in front of the Marketing Office, I saw a Maruti Alto had just arrived and its youthful driver was getting out. As I started walking slowly, lost in blog-thought, the young one halted and stopped me asking:

HE: Are you also planning to book a flat here?

ME: No, (with a big smile), I have a flat here in which I have been living for a year.

HE: Oh, how do you like it here?

ME: Excellent, marvelous, lots of breeze and sunshine and free from pollution, away from the highway by 2 km...a house on the hill.

HE: Are the towers coming up now...I heard it sort of stopped a while ago.

ME: No, no! The first block of 300 flats in ten floors is full. The second is ready for occupation. The third will be completed in 6 months. The fourth one in a year and all the ten in a couple of years. The Club House and the swimming pool will be ready in 9 months...

HE: How are the facilities and amenities?

ME: We have piped gas, milk supply and newspapers at home every morning, uninterrupted wi-fi, cable TV with 200 channels, home phone, and carpenters, plumbers and electricians a phone call away, free mineral water cans for the asking, pure air and bright sunshine in 3 balconies and the front walkway, 6 lifts, daily garbage collectors...

HE: Do you have uninterrupted power?

ME: Oh, no...but none in Hyderabad has it...we have installed a powerful inverter so we don't feel the power cuts at all.

HE: Do you have 24 hour water supply?

ME: Yes, except in the summer months when the whole city goes dry.

HE: But the NRI Township has 24 hour power and water...

ME: But a similar flat there costs Rs 75 lakhs while I got my flat here for Rs 23 lakhs.

HE: What? I am told they are quoting Rs 45 lakhs...

ME: Inflation, man, inflation...book it right away before it escalates to Rs 50 lakhs in 6 months. Great investment.

HE: But this is 2 km away from the highway and there is no transport...

ME: Oh, all you need is 2 cars, one for you and the other for your wife...that's all.

And by then his old mom walks in and asks me in Hindi:

SHE: Do you have any Hindi-speaking people here?

ME: Oh, yes! Hindi, Bengali, Marathi, Telugu, Tamil, Gujerati, Punjabi, Oriya, Urdu..

And then his dad comes up and asks:

DAD:   Are you a Telugu?

ME: Yes and No...I lived 21 years in AP, 40 years in Bengal and the last 8 years in this Telengana bone of contention...you are Punjabi, no?

DAD: How do you know?

ME: Well, well, well...Come on up all of you...I will show our flat to you.

DAD: No, thanx. Are you a pensioner?

ME: Yes, but I live with my son who is a Project Manager in the Hi-Tec City.

DAD: That explains it.

And then I try to take the hand of the young lad and usher him into our Marketing Office. But he demurs; and they all turn tail and get back into their Alto and drive away...

I don't know where I goofed...






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