Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Last Straws

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The canonical last straw in our epics is in the killing of Shishupala by his maternal cousin, Krishna. The story goes that Shishupala was born with three eyes and four limbs. Such extra embellishments are not considered features but bugs in us mortals although cherished in our gods. So his mom wanted to kill her son at birth. However, Akashvani spoke that all the extras would disappear as soon as the infant gets touched by an avatar of Vishnu. 

The catch however was that Shishupala would meet his death at the hand of the same person.

Sigh!

Soon enough, while fooling around the house, Krishna happens to touch the infant, and Shishupala instantly gets rid of his bugs and turns handsome. And his mom turns to her nephew, Krishna, and begs him not to kill her child. Krishna promises his auntie that he would pardon 99 insults by her son but would kill him at the 100th insult duly. 

And he does it at the Rajasuya Yaga of Yudhishtir at which he was invited as the Chief Guest. Of course Shishupala had every right to insult Krishna because Krishna elopes with Rukmini (ahem) who was betrothed to Shishupala.

But there it is - what is right with mortals isn't right with gods...and politicians.

In more recent history, the World Wars I and II began with their last straws.

The assassination of Archduke Ferdinand of Austria instantly led to the declaration of WW I, though it was a mere last straw...there were 99 portents, all to do with economy rather than politics.

And Hitler's attack of Poland was the last straw that led Britain and France to declare war on Germany. They pardoned a dozen sins of Hitler like the occupation of Sudetenland, annexation of Austria, grabbing of Czechoslovakia...more by fatigue than hope. But when Hitler attacked Poland (in secret connivance with Stalin) shit hit the proverbial fan.  

It didn't turn instantly into World War II till the other last straw heaped by Japan when it attacked the famous Pearl Harbor. Till then America was sitting on the fence. Japan itself had its last straw that broke its back when America nuked it duly, with the secret connivance of hundreds of physicists willy-nilly.

Well, the other day I witnessed a tiny last straw in our basement.

Events were rather leading to it. 

My D-i-L is fond of driving our 14-year-old Maruti jalopy to the bus stop and back while I remain seated by her side as a Valet-Parker. She had learned her driving in a Driving School whose teachers teach their students the bare essentials of driving, and charge a lot of money to help them get their Driving Licenses through agents. 

With the result that their students don't get to hear of spark plugs, clutch plates, batteries, brake fluids, engine oils, coolants, dippers, flashes, and even dashboard warning displays. Just hit the road and spread terror.

And then there were a series of news clips that several cars on the ring roads and flyovers of Hyderabad were exploding like so many petrol bombs, with their drivers sitting like belted ducks trapped in their seats. The car manufacturers squarely blamed their customers for installing, with the help of quacks, extra features like high power headlights, power-windows, ACs, speakers, all without consideration for ratings of company-provided electrical cables...just snip and join...

And that spread jitters...

And then there was this Diwali. 

The 2 days of Diwali proper went event-less in our budding Gated Township where we live on the seventh floor of a 10-story block of flats. But on the night of Bhayya Dooj that came a couple of days after Diwali, some miscreants set off a string of fifty odd automatic Rocket Bombs that zoom up in the sky and explode.

Half a dozen of these blazing devils entered the balconies of our wing and exploded right inside them setting off curtain fires and threatening to set our piped-gas lines on fire...something unimaginably fearsome.

All the ladies were terrorized and they shut the doors of their balconies and huddled inside, closing their ears. The miscreants duly fled the scene.

And early the next morning my D-i-L took the wheel of our ancient Maruti, trying to reverse it out of its parking slot while I stood by watching. 

And as soon as she jerked the ignition, she heard a terrific explosion with sound and smoke; and she had a near-faint...she thought the miscreants started bombing our basement gas pipes...

I, of course, vividly saw, and knew what was happening...our silencer was getting more and more choked by the month, and I was expecting that it would lead to an explosion any day at the exhaust pipe (muffler-explosion). 

And there was this terrific ink-jet of carbon powder sprayed all over the floor.

I asked her to come out and see what she did ;)

She came and saw and surrendered the ignition key.

I took over and dropped her at the bus-stop and went to our Taj Motors Alam-Bhai and got a new silencer installed.

Meanwhile I was told by my son (who was in his beauty-sleep) that he had a shivering call from his wife...

Luckily she recovered from her shock soon enough and is now back at her fond driving wheel.


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