Thursday, January 30, 2014

Memos & Memoirs

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The first I saw 'Memo' was at the end-pages of Father's Diary. Father was the HM of our Muthukur school and used to buy school books from one or other of the only two bookshops in Nellore then, 'Venkatarama & Co' and 'Nellore Bookstores'. And he used to get complimentary dairies from them every New Year Day.


I asked him what this 'memo' meant and he said it was an abbreviation for 'memorandum' and went busy. The explanation was worse than the doubt. Anyway I found many jottings in those pages, mostly dhobi's give and take.

Later on I came to know that memo meant a short note for something to remember. 

When I was at my University at Vizagh in my final year, a young man three years senior to me doing his Ph D there befriended me. This gent was very humorous and also the medal-winner of the department. And he took me as his honorary assistant when I joined as a research scholar in his lab. And I learned a bit of NQR from him, apart from many jokes. 

When, at last, time came for him to write up his thesis with the deadly deadline approaching fast, I found one fine morning a longish triangular homemade prism on his table with white paper stuck on it. And on it there was this memo:

"Be Serious!"

I turned the prism on its side and found the same memo on all its 3 sides.

He got serious for all of 2 days...

The next memo I came to read was on all the walls of a newly arrived colleague's room adjacent to mine in our Faculty Hostel:

"Don't Smoke!"

I was a chain smoker then and thought that the memo was meant for me. But he assured me that it was for himself...he had taken up smoking a week back. And he took me in to inspect his attached-toilet and showed me the same slogan scribbled on all its walls:

"Don't Smoke!"

He turned a chain smoker after a few weeks...

When I went to my father's place at Gudur the next summer vacation I heard an expanded version of this 'memo'. My younger sister was then working as a typist in the Sub-Collector's Office at Gudur. And I asked her to cut her duties for the day and accompany the rest of us to a matinee show of the movie Gundamma Katha. And she turned pale at the very idea and exclaimed:

"My Superintendent will give me a 'charge memo'!"

I asked her how a memo acquires charge and came to know that the thing meant a sort of warning. And after 3 such charge memos the chap can take 'disciplinary action' against her.   

IIT KGP never had a truly vindictive Big Boss. But just suppose there were one. And he gets angry with the driver of his 'staff car' for not obeying him when he orders him to take his wife for shopping in Gole Bazaar on the grounds that it was outside his 'official' duties. Then the Big Boss could dispense with these charge memos and suspend him forthwith. All that the poor driver could do if he were not an active member of the Employees Union would be to go to court against IIT. And the case would drag on for decades during which time he would be getting half his pay which would go to his lawyer. And then one fine morning he would win the case and would be re-instituted with retrospective effect. By then the harm would be done...he would grow old, his kids would be dropouts, and his mom-in-law would disown him (which is not altogether bad). 

But by then the Big Boss would be in a bigger post in the Ministry at Delhi and nothing would happen to him. Once a Judge of the High Court was asked if it wouldn't be proper that the Big Boss should be appropriately punished if IIT loses its cases against its employees. And the judge answered:

"In that case no one would be willing to accept the august position of the Big Boss of IIT KGP"

I wonder though...

Actually the High Court Judge was covering his own arse...he himself would have to be punished whenever the Supreme Court reverses his judgment...which is oftener.

We now come to memoirs:

This word I first saw on the title page of a paperback in the bookshelf of my MD Uncle's house at Vizagh:

"Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes"

I posted a blog long ago on my troubles with pronunciation of English words: 
 
http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2012/03/funnelmelody.html


First I didn't know if the 'l' in Holmes was silent like in 'talk' and 'walk' or not. Then the ugly-sounding 'memoirs'.

In my second year I came to know that the diphthong 'oi' in the English words of foreign origin (they are all of foreign origin) had to be pronounced as 'wa'. So that 'memoirs' ought to be pronounced:

"memwars"

Like in: 

'bourgeois, renoir, soiree, and even the Tamil 'coir' but not 'noise' (not 'nwas').

I checked the precise meaning of 'memoirs' just now. And can claim that my blog can be titled as:

"Memoirs of a Master Muchwa"

'Muchwa' is French for 'Moshoi' ;)


Old & Young


This afternoon I was waiting in my car for Sailaja to get back from the interiors of the office of the Lily School of Ishani who is to be dressed up as a peacock in the next school assembly.  

A middle-aged lady arrived by my side driving her Scooty. And she stopped and asked me:

"How do I go to the Manyata Apartments?"

I said:

"Take a left turn at that T-junction 30 feet ahead"

She stared at me dubiously and drove on to the T-junction and I could see that she stopped her Scooty and inquired a young lady on the road who showed her the left turn with her hand. 

She turned left and drove on happily.

This reminded me of the story told me by the Late Prof BCB who had just returned from his 14-years stay in London in 1965. He was then staying in our Faculty Hostel and befriended me I know not why.

And I asked him what he liked best about London. He said that Londoners have a keen sense of humor. I asked him to illustrate it. And he narrated what happened once when he was traveling in a London Bus. The conductor was an immigrant from the West Indies, and a white old lady asked him:

"How far is Croydon?"

The conductor told her:

"Two stops from here"

The lady was dubious and, when a white man sat beside her, she repeated her question to him:

"How far is Croydon?"

 And got the answer:

"Two stops from here"

And the conductor smiled and remarked to her:

"You must be happy now to have it in 'Black & White', no?"

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