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It is now my pleasure to talk of Dr C who, as I said yesterday, drove the last nail into the coffin of Table Manners in our Faculty Hostel at IIT KGP during the eventful 1960s.
After we settled down to our Skeleton Menu with a cozy monthly mess bill of Rs 120, and foreign guests stopped looking in, there was this question of what to do with sundry local guests who were many. Those were the best of times and the worst of times for teachers who somehow or the other chanced to get married and started leading a homely life with homely food and a homely wife and a homely maid and a homely gardener.
But there was this catch: Wives soon got bored and forlorn and homesick in that junglee campus sans TV, sans eateries, sans telephones, sans any avenue of entertainment save the grainy films imposed by the TFS. And they fled the campus ever and anon to their mom's place leaving their hubbies in the lurch, starvation staring at them squarely in their faces. They couldn't eat in Nair's since Nair, the sole Archangel of Food in the campus, didn't serve lunches and dinners but only South Indian tiffins. And the undergraduate messes were scary and tumultuous.
So they were allowed as guest eaters for the nonce in our hospitable Faculty Hostel. These came in two species: 1. House Crows and 2. Jungle Crows (Ravens):
1. House Crows: Guests of resident boarders like me. These were welcome in our mess to eat as and when they starved, with prior notice of a couple of hours (or none if you were friendly with Laxman like I was). And their food bill was charged to their host per meal basis at the regular Skeleton Rate in his monthly mess bill. Often my friend BK Mohanty was at a loss whenever his aristo wife suddenly left home and he whispered the news in my ear and I used to feed him in our mess till his wife decided to forgive and forget. And of course he wouldn't pay me in cash but did it in kind, like inviting me for return lunches and dinners at his place with his wife as the stately hostess. Once, another of my friends happened to be my guest for a month and asked me to choose a return gift and I chose the fat Webster's Collegiate Dictionary that is still with me as a memento (rarely opened now since Webster has gone online).
2. Jungle Crows: Then there were others who didn't have any friend in our Faculty Hostel (nor in the campus). Such folks were generally reserved, unsocial, and felt too dignified to mix with us hoi polloi or just too bilious . But hunger and thirst come before dignity and bile. Still, we decided to humor them and feed them whenever they starved, not at the Skeleton Rate, but with an added Service Charge of 25% which worked out to about Rs 150 pm.
One such Raven was Dr C.
He had the reputation of having a grouse and a chip on his shoulder whatever the reason for it. He was not too senior to us youngsters but he was rumored to have felt bypassed and persecuted in his department. But I guess it was just a complex. Without doubt he was brilliant, else he wouldn't be a faculty at IIT KGP...
One fine noon Dr C entered our mess without notice and took his lonely seat on a table far away from the madding crowd. And Laxman didn't notice him or appeared not to. After a few minutes Dr C banged his table and called out: "Bearer!" And that was an insult to Laxman since all of us called him by his good name. And Laxman got irritated, and tarried. And this provoked our eminent guest even more and he thundered aloud. And Laxman went to him apparently questioning with his eyes what business an alien had in our holy shrine in which he was the High Priest.
Dr C: Give me lunch quick...I have a class in the sixth period
Laxman: I have no intimation, sir. Are you a new boarder?
Dr C: No, I am a senior lecturer
Laxman: Are you a guest here?
Dr C: Yes...yes...yes!
Laxman: But I didn't find any luncheon guest in today's register
Dr C: I didn't know I had to inform beforehand
Laxman: Yes sir...8-hour notice for lunch and dinner and 2-hour notice for breakfast and tea
Dr C: Where is your Mess Secretary?
Laxman: He had his lunch and gone to his room sir
Dr C: Call him!
Laxman: I can't, sir, he will be angry with me
Dr C: Call your Manager then!
Laxman: He has gone to Cal this morning sir
Dr C: You mean, I have to starve?
Laxman: You can talk to our President, sir...he is sitting in the lounge there
Dr C: Fetch him!
Laxman: Ok sir
Dr C: Are you the president here?
Pres: Yes
Dr C: I didn't know that I had to give notice before having my lunch here
Pres: Yes, you see, this is no hotel or restaurant with unlimited food prepared for all and sundry
Dr C: You mean, I have to quit now?
Pres: Laxman! See if any food is left and serve the gentleman lunch
Laxman: OK sir!
Pres (to Dr C): Do you have any friends here?
Dr C: No, none...why?
Pres: If not, you will have to pay Service Charges @ 25%
Dr C: How silly! Are you going to feed me more than the others?
Pres: No
Dr C: Then why these extra charges?
Pres: To discourage all and sundry from barging into our private mess facility
Dr C: Ok, I will pay
Pres: Henceforth please inform Laxman beforehand and get your requirements entered in our Guest Register
...And Laxman served him the leftovers for the day with a grouse...
Dr C's revenge on us to be continued in the next post...
One fine noon Dr C entered our mess without notice and took his lonely seat on a table far away from the madding crowd. And Laxman didn't notice him or appeared not to. After a few minutes Dr C banged his table and called out: "Bearer!" And that was an insult to Laxman since all of us called him by his good name. And Laxman got irritated, and tarried. And this provoked our eminent guest even more and he thundered aloud. And Laxman went to him apparently questioning with his eyes what business an alien had in our holy shrine in which he was the High Priest.
Dr C: Give me lunch quick...I have a class in the sixth period
Laxman: I have no intimation, sir. Are you a new boarder?
Dr C: No, I am a senior lecturer
Laxman: Are you a guest here?
Dr C: Yes...yes...yes!
Laxman: But I didn't find any luncheon guest in today's register
Dr C: I didn't know I had to inform beforehand
Laxman: Yes sir...8-hour notice for lunch and dinner and 2-hour notice for breakfast and tea
Dr C: Where is your Mess Secretary?
Laxman: He had his lunch and gone to his room sir
Dr C: Call him!
Laxman: I can't, sir, he will be angry with me
Dr C: Call your Manager then!
Laxman: He has gone to Cal this morning sir
Dr C: You mean, I have to starve?
Laxman: You can talk to our President, sir...he is sitting in the lounge there
Dr C: Fetch him!
Laxman: Ok sir
Dr C: Are you the president here?
Pres: Yes
Dr C: I didn't know that I had to give notice before having my lunch here
Pres: Yes, you see, this is no hotel or restaurant with unlimited food prepared for all and sundry
Dr C: You mean, I have to quit now?
Pres: Laxman! See if any food is left and serve the gentleman lunch
Laxman: OK sir!
Pres (to Dr C): Do you have any friends here?
Dr C: No, none...why?
Pres: If not, you will have to pay Service Charges @ 25%
Dr C: How silly! Are you going to feed me more than the others?
Pres: No
Dr C: Then why these extra charges?
Pres: To discourage all and sundry from barging into our private mess facility
Dr C: Ok, I will pay
Pres: Henceforth please inform Laxman beforehand and get your requirements entered in our Guest Register
...And Laxman served him the leftovers for the day with a grouse...
Dr C's revenge on us to be continued in the next post...
....Posted by Ishani
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