Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Table Manners & Mannerisms - 21

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Before the advent of suji upma our wedding cooks were a hassled lot. 

Day 1 started with the stupendous breakfast task of feeding about 200 voracious mouths with idlis at the average rate of 6 idlis into each mouth (open like an oyster's). Idli-making is not an instant affair, by no means. They had to soak kilos upon kilos of rice and black gram (udat dal) separately, in a fixed proportion. And wait for 4 hours so the grain become grindable in our huge mortar-pestle combos. Then grind them separately with periodically sprinkled drum-water, and keep aside the two semi-solid stuffs for 4 more hours. Then mix the two thoroughly with swollen hands and wait for the batter to ferment for 4 more hours. And test if the batter has risen to overflowing like sin. Then take special utensils with serial idly-shaped hollows with holes beneath them stacked one above the other on a spindle. And steam the batter in huge cauldrons for half an hour at each go...the whole process is an overnight affair calling for hectic manual labor and cooking skills. And the idlis have to be served hot and steaming. And, since they are steamed free from any trace of oil, they are easily digested and folks return to the kitchen every hour and ask for more.

When at last our harrowed and harassed cooks discovered mom's upma recipe they thanked their stars and praised the Lord. No more soaking, waiting, grinding, mixing, waiting, and steaming. Just get up fresh in the morning, smoke a couple of beedis, lift a huge wedding kadai on to the firewood flame, pour lots of oil, wait, add salt and chillies, dump kilos upon kilos of suji, and smoke couple more beedies. After the suji soaks up the oil and bloats and becomes fluffy, add more oil and take the kadais down and hit the kettle drums and shout:

"Upma Ready!"

That is all. 

And soon enough they discovered that upma is a veritable sponge. It can soak and hide within it any amount of cheap oil and look more and more inviting. And then if you eat the oil-laden upma, it stays in the belly for hour and hours...upma is thus called the 'Iron Tiffin'. The advantage of this is that the usually voracious wedding freeloaders are no longer in a great hurry for lunch, and they snooze, burping now and then, and the cooks can relax and smoke many more beedis and chat with maids and make them laugh their upmas out and drink pints and barrels of coffee. The nervous wedding host is also pleased that the lunch intake would be frugal and thus save on costly curries.

And...give it to our cooks...once they get the hang of a new thing, they invent many more allotropic modifications.  

The freeloaders of yore expected that a couple of hours after their lunch intake and snooze they would be fed snacks...which used to be sweets like laddoos or jangris or jilabis or khazas, followed by a savory like mirchi boondi. But lo and behold, after the suji revolution, our cooks discovered that if you add milk and sugar and cashew nuts and 'color', the good old upma became a delicious and appetizing sweet dish they called 'suji halwa'. 

No more syrupy jilabis.

More was to follow. Making the standard boondi laddoos was a harrowing and lengthy affair. So they discovered an easy variant of laddoo called 'Rava Laddoo'. This again has the celebrated wheat suji at its heart and can be made in less time than you can pronounce 'boondi laddoo'...

And more to come in the Alexandrian Conquest of Bombai Rava...tomorrow...

...Posted by Ishani   


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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know of many grand children being named after a grandparent.

It is the first time I see that a grandpa has assumed the name of his grandchild !

Trendy, eh !!!

Anonymous said...

I know of many grand children being named after a grandparent.

It is the first time I see that a grandpa has assumed the name of his grandchild !

Trendy, eh !!!

Anonymous said...

I know of many grand children being named after a grandparent.

It is the first time I see that a grandpa has assumed the name of his grandchild !

Trendy, eh !!!

Kittappa said...

Phew !

Yesterday I managed to press the wrong button on my computer thrice within one minute span !

So sorry !