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We now turn to the rather intricate issue of the possibility of teacher-taught relations between the plethora of in-laws.
Let us first take a typical son-in-law and his mother-in-law (you take yours, I will take mine).
Unfortunately, our great epics are silent on this question.
Neither Sri Ramji nor Ravanji appear to have interacted much with their (respective) moms-in-law, and vice versa.
Nor for that matter the five Pandavas and the hundred Kauravas and the go-between Karna.
Nor Sri Krishna or his brother Balaram.
History is also not of much help. None of the kings and princes of England seem to have learned much from their mom-in-laws. This includes the current ones.
Neither did Gandhiji...I read his autobiography which is silent on his mom-in-law who would obviously not have approved some of the treatment he gave to her darling daughter...like asking her to clean latrines...chee chee chee...
Not much of Nehurjee's mom-in-law is known either...not to talk of his latest heir, the dimpled one, who is yet to acquire one...seems to be debating on the pros and cons (cons more than the pros if any).
Nor Churchill nor Lincoln...I haven't watched the movie though.
The only President of the US I know who has shared his White House with his mom-in-law seems to be the current incumbent. And, learned folks attribute his premature graying to precisely this circumstance:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2014/04/onion-tomato-garlic-3_4.html
Long time ago, when I as just a babe in the blogosphere, I posted a serious piece called: "Ask Dr GP":
http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2010/03/ask-dr-gp.html
In this post Dr GP answers a dozen questions from his readers about their various personal problems one of which is:
Dear Dr GP: During our courtship my boy-friend was cheerful and charming till he met my mother the other day. Since then he has turned gloomy.
Dr GP: This is known as “Mom-in-law Genetic Depression”. Try your father on him. He will recover sensing that what your father has endured, he too can, if he tries hard enough.
At that time an unknown Bengali lady used to browse my blogs and she was furious about the answer of Dr GP for the vital question raised above. And she posted this critical comment:
wanderlust said... "Mom In law Genetic depression " -- Q.E.D .. through experience
I didn't respond to this comment then since I didn't wish to enter into a series of personal attacks and counter-attacks with a well-meaning bhadramahila.
We now turn to the rather intricate issue of the possibility of teacher-taught relations between the plethora of in-laws.
Let us first take a typical son-in-law and his mother-in-law (you take yours, I will take mine).
Unfortunately, our great epics are silent on this question.
Neither Sri Ramji nor Ravanji appear to have interacted much with their (respective) moms-in-law, and vice versa.
Nor for that matter the five Pandavas and the hundred Kauravas and the go-between Karna.
Nor Sri Krishna or his brother Balaram.
History is also not of much help. None of the kings and princes of England seem to have learned much from their mom-in-laws. This includes the current ones.
Neither did Gandhiji...I read his autobiography which is silent on his mom-in-law who would obviously not have approved some of the treatment he gave to her darling daughter...like asking her to clean latrines...chee chee chee...
Not much of Nehurjee's mom-in-law is known either...not to talk of his latest heir, the dimpled one, who is yet to acquire one...seems to be debating on the pros and cons (cons more than the pros if any).
Nor Churchill nor Lincoln...I haven't watched the movie though.
The only President of the US I know who has shared his White House with his mom-in-law seems to be the current incumbent. And, learned folks attribute his premature graying to precisely this circumstance:
http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2014/04/onion-tomato-garlic-3_4.html
Long time ago, when I as just a babe in the blogosphere, I posted a serious piece called: "Ask Dr GP":
http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2010/03/ask-dr-gp.html
In this post Dr GP answers a dozen questions from his readers about their various personal problems one of which is:
Dear Dr GP: During our courtship my boy-friend was cheerful and charming till he met my mother the other day. Since then he has turned gloomy.
Dr GP: This is known as “Mom-in-law Genetic Depression”. Try your father on him. He will recover sensing that what your father has endured, he too can, if he tries hard enough.
At that time an unknown Bengali lady used to browse my blogs and she was furious about the answer of Dr GP for the vital question raised above. And she posted this critical comment:
I didn't respond to this comment then since I didn't wish to enter into a series of personal attacks and counter-attacks with a well-meaning bhadramahila.
But now I can assure her that every doctor, especially psychiatrists, need not suffer from the disease they are about to cure or attempt to cure.
All dentists don't have to have had toothaches, cavities, and unwisdom teeth for which they underwent root canal, crowns in the jewel, extractions, false teeth, and furious flossing.
Nor do many eminent male gynecologists and obstetricians have to necessarily experience menstrual cycles, abortions, and Caesarian sections.
Nor do great physicists like Wheeler and Gell-Mann have to get sucked into black holes or ride spectator quarks.
And yet, I shouldn't take an overly hypocritical attitude about my own mom-in-law (bless her soul!), and my strenuous attempts at learning from her, more about which I save for tomorrow.
But I can state the result in a nutshell right away.
I had said earlier that for a benign teacher-student relationship, it is essential that the student should be fearless and teacher shameless. These conditions usually do not obtain in this mom-in-law vs son-in-law relationship which is always rather fraught. The typical mom-in-law is a severe critic by nature.
Listen to RKN:
...The democratic machinery is kept going through the exercise of the critical faculty. If someone should ask, "How should an opposition function?" the best answer would be, "In the manner of a traditional mother-in-law who watches the performance of household work by a daughter-in-law (or son-in-law as the case maybe) and follows her (or him) about with her comments" (bracketed entities mine).
...Posted by Ishani
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