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I have noticed that these are much more cordial than the mom-in-law-son-in-law yoke I described yesterday. Part of the reason for this is that the father in general is not so possessive about his daughter as her mother. But in fact he loves his daughter more in an abstract sense.
In our patriarchal society, as I mentioned earlier, the father is the natural guardian of his kids and in particular daughters. As the breadwinner of the family, he feeds her, clothes her, and educates her. And it is his duty to find a suitable groom for her...his wife being a mere hindrance with the power of veto. And it is he who does the kanya-daan (virgin-donation, strictly speaking) in our marriage rituals. And it is he who grieves the most when his daughter is taken away by the groom (and at times returned back):
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/dpa/lowres/families-parents-parenting-father-fatherhood-son_in_law-dpan2836l.jpg
In our mythology there is indeed the perfect father-in-law-son-in-law combo...it is the most cordial relation between King Janaka and Sri Ramji.
There is this story about the wisdom of King Janaka:
Apparently, Sage Narada grew jealous of King Janaka. The reason is as follows:
Narada stands a mere second in the Abu Ben Adham's merit list of those who love God most (meaning the great Bhaktas of yore):
Pandava gita
bahoonaam janamanaam ante jnanavan maam prapadyante
vaasudava: sarvamiti sa mahaatmaa sudurlabha:
http://www.svtemplenc.org/stories/StoryOfSriRamaNavami.pdf
...Posted by Ishani
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In our patriarchal society, as I mentioned earlier, the father is the natural guardian of his kids and in particular daughters. As the breadwinner of the family, he feeds her, clothes her, and educates her. And it is his duty to find a suitable groom for her...his wife being a mere hindrance with the power of veto. And it is he who does the kanya-daan (virgin-donation, strictly speaking) in our marriage rituals. And it is he who grieves the most when his daughter is taken away by the groom (and at times returned back):
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/dpa/lowres/families-parents-parenting-father-fatherhood-son_in_law-dpan2836l.jpg
In our mythology there is indeed the perfect father-in-law-son-in-law combo...it is the most cordial relation between King Janaka and Sri Ramji.
There is this story about the wisdom of King Janaka:
Apparently, Sage Narada grew jealous of King Janaka. The reason is as follows:
Narada stands a mere second in the Abu Ben Adham's merit list of those who love God most (meaning the great Bhaktas of yore):
prahlada naarada paraashara pundarika vyaasa ambarisha suka shounaka bheeshma
rukmaangada vasistha vibheeshana
Pandava gita
But Janaka, being an accomplished jnani and a joint doctoral student of the great Yajnavalkya as well as Ashtavakra, stands first in the merit list of Abu Ben Adham of those whom God loves most (notice the profound difference: it is like the mighty difference between those who were promoted to the IAS from ranks below and those who boast to have cleared the toughest exam in the world...according to them):
teshaaam jnani nitya yukta: eka bhaktir vissishtya ye
priyohi jnaninotyardham ahamsa cha mama priya:
bahoonaam janamanaam ante jnanavan maam prapadyante
vaasudava: sarvamiti sa mahaatmaa sudurlabha:
Gita: Chapter 7
So, as I was saying, Narada grows jealous of King Janaka and decides to make a trip to Mithila and find out for himself and if possible confront Janaka and defeat him. As he was walking in the midday sun, he gets tired on the outskirts of Mithila and decides to take a brief rest. And finds a banyan tree and lies down on the ground in its cool shade. And, as was his custom and incurable habit, his right arm goes below his head as a soothing headrest.
And in a few minutes he notices a couple of buxom belles from Mithila walk by the tree with their pots on their heads to fetch water from the nearby stream. And he closes his devout eyes pretending to be fast asleep.
It is a known fact that when a kingdom is blessed with a king who is wise (like ours of today), his wisdom seeps deep down into the heads and hearts of his most humble subjects. So the maidens of Mithila were the epitomes of not only virtue but also wisdom. And the two girls see Narada and laugh at the sage in saffron clothes commenting between themselves:
"This sage appears to be too much devoted to his bodily comforts...he needs a makeshift pillow without which he can't sleep"
And they pass on...
Narada overhears their snide comment and removes his arm from underneath his head to show the citizens of Mithila that he can as well sleep without any pillow whatsoever.
In a few minutes the belles with their pots filled with water on their heads are on their way back to the city and seeing the sleeping sage pass the hilarious comment:
"This fake sage not only looks after his bodily comforts but also has a huge abhiman (ego-sense)...he can't take criticism in his stride"
The girls walk back to Mithila; and so does Narada to his heavenly abode, thinking:
"If ordinary girls of Mithila are so wise in their observations, what chance do I stand with their king?"
Sri Ramjee is no less of a wise man (he assumes the shape of a mere man and acts accordingly in Ramayan). While in his early teens he gets vexed with the woes of humans and their travails and gets depressed and his father advises him to visit their family guru, Vasistha, to clear his doubts. So right away in the midnight when all of Ayodhya was fast asleep Sri Ramjee walks to the abode of Vasistha and knocks on his door. And Vasistha asks:
"Who is it knocking on my door at this ungodly hour?'
And Sri Ramjee replies:
"That is precisely the question whose answer I want from you...who am I?"
And Vasistha opens the door knowing it can only be Sri Ramjee testing his wisdom and asks him to enter and sit down and teaches him the profoundest Advaita Vedanta. His teaching, as is usual with India where everything happens in superlatives, is contained in a mere 32,000 shlokas penned by no other than Rishi Valmiki, and is titled: "Yoga Vasistha".
You can order copies of it from Amazon...there is the whole thing as big as a whale as well as the most condensed version, called 'Laghu Vasistha', with many books of intermediate size varying from Rs 350 to Rs 3500...choice is yours...I don't make a single rupee either way in this deal.
So this sambandh of King Janaka and Sri Ramjee is between two wise men and as far as I know it is unique and ideal. Sri Ramjee is also blessed that he doesn't have a proper mother-in-law like the rest of us, Sita being the foundling daughter of Mother Earth...sorry Mother-in-law Earth.
The verses uttered by King Janaka during the marriage ceremony of his fond daughter as he gives her away to Sri Ramjee in kanya-daan are the most charming of all the wedding mantras of our South Indian Brahmin families:
iyam sItaa mama sutaa saha dharma chaareer tava
pratIccha chainaam bhadram te paanim grihneesva paaninaa
pativrataa mahaabhaagaa chaayaiva anugataa sadaa
iti uktvaa praakshipat raaja mantrapootam jalam tadaa
Meaning: “This is SIta, my daughter; she will acquit herself well in your path of righteousness. Take her hand in yours. She is blessed and will be devoted. She will walk with you forever like your own shadow”. Saying so, Janaka poured water, sanctified with holy hymns, into the palm of Rama.
...Posted by Ishani
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