Sunday, August 29, 2010

Passion & Humor

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During the course of the past three years of my mind-numbing blogging I have been accused and implicated of harboring:

1. Passion and 2. Humor.

I would like to firmly respond to these baseless charges one by one as their meanings occur in my online-Webster:

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Definition of
PASSION

1. Webster:

a : "the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death"

gps: Ok! I WAS suffering occasionally when I was crucified at IIT KGP when applying for PF loans on hilarious grounds like celebrating the impending marriages of 6 of my 'dependent' sisters a couple of dozen times in various permutations and combinations as and when I fell short of money for buying the classy products of WD & HO Wills; but that's about all the Passion I displayed at KGP. But not after retirement, for, they cleared all my PF money so I can't pester them for loans anymore.



b
: Webster:

"an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion"

gps: The only oratory I indulged in at KGP was on Dirac Equation since I didn't understand it. On Maxwell Equations, I didn't have to, because I knew them like the back of my palm, having done a Ph D in this subject under SDM (about whom I am accused by Anupam of being "passionate" in my SDM Homage)

"gps lemma: The less one knows of a subject, the more eloquent one is"

2 Webster:

"obsolete : suffering"

gps: I don't think I am obsolete enough now; maybe later (at 100) I will respond to this


3 Webster:

"the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces"

gps: Is there anyone not in the state of being acted on by external agents or forces like the wife and kids; why me alone?


4 Webster:

a (1) :

"emotion passion is greed"

gps:
Hyderabadi Super-Malls wink and blink constantly with neon signs saying: 'Greed is Good! Greed is Good!! Greed is Good!!!'... Not poor me, who gives those Malls a quiet miss

(2)
Webster:

"plural
: the emotions as distinguished from reason"


gps: Anyone defending himself this logically and reasoningly can't be accused of emotions, plural or 'singular'

b
: Webster:

"intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction"


gps: However intensely or with overmastering feeling I try to drive, my jalopy doesn't go beyond 30 kmph. And I have so far escaped 'conviction' on this ground

c
: Webster:

"an outbreak of anger"

gps: Ha! Outbreak of Anger!!! In our childhood, when there were no home-toilets, we used to morning-walk to the Village Tank for our primary ablutions. The motto was: "What is the use of getting angry with the Tank; you will only stink!"

5 Webster:

a : "ardent affection"

gps: Few can accuse me of 'ardent affection' to anyone but myself, which is so far 'unrequited'.


: Webster:

"love
b : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept"

gps: Whoever lived in the Faculty Hostel at IIT KGP for seven breezy years will surely have 'a strong liking or desire for or devotion to' decent food once in a while, Other passions pale before what our 'aalu had for gobi' (as I wrote to SPK yesterday) since we were ever served 'aalu-gobi' for lunch and 'gobi-aalu' for dinner on a regular basis in their Mess, except on special dinner nights when both of them loved a bit of 'mattar and paneer'

Webster:

c : "sexual desire"

gps: Can we keep this CLEAN please!

Webster:

d
: "an object of desire or deep interes
t"

gps: I was hardly an object of desire or deep interest to anyone so far as I know. It is not MY problem

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Definition of HUMOR

1 Webster:

a : "a normal functioning bodily semifluid or fluid (as the blood or lymph)"

gps: I am neither 'bloody' nor 'lymphatic'; only 'emphatic'


b
: Webster:

"a secretion (as a hormone) that is an excitant of activity"

gps: Again, let this be clean!

2 Webster:

a: "in medieval physiology : a fluid or juice of an animal or plant; specifically : one of the four fluids entering into the constitution of the body and determining by their relative proportions a person's health and temperament"

gps: Let medieval physiology with its fluids and juices of animals or plants go to medieval dogs! I don't care

b : Webster:

"characteristic or habitual disposition or bent : temperament humor"

gps: I am not 'bent'; I am straight!



c : Webster:

"an often temporary state of mind imposed especially by circumstances; humor to listen"

gps: Everything in this world is temporary

d : Webster:

"a sudden, unpredictable, or unreasoning inclination : whim humors of nature"

gps: I have been consistently sordid in my 380 blogposts so far; nothing sudden or unpredictable or unreasoning inclination: 3 long years can't be dubbed 'sudden'

3 Webster:

a : "that quality which appeals to a sense of the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous"

gps: Big words! I have to check with my online Webster in a different window

b : Webster:

"the mental faculty of discovering, expressing, or appreciating the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous"

gps: More of the above; 'mental' in Midnapore means 'gone case', which I swear I am not yet

c : Webster:

"something that is or is designed to be comical or amusing"

gps: What's wrong with THAT?

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1 comment:

gpsastry said...

Anirban writes:

"gps lemma: The less one knows of a subject, the more eloquent one is:

I disagree and cite Prof. D. Basu's lectures. I have never heard
anyone convey abstract math with such panache. One may argue that
flamboyance is not necessarily eloquence, but in this case, it was."