wellwishers.com

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Known well-wishers are passe'. It is the unknown, unseen, strange ones that fascinate me.

During the past 12 hours, I had received mails from 20 such Santa Claise.

Quite obviously it is impossible for me to respond individually to such a deluge of benefactors. So, this is just a thankful en masse gesture. I do badly need all your goodwill, so please keep it up.

Most of them want to pass on to me sums ranging from 1 million to 50 million dollars. Easy money. I am sure I am the only chosen one.

All they want from me as of now are intimate details like my age and sex. I can't guess why.

One of them is off-the-routine. She says that: "Deep Depression should not be confused with mere bad mood". This enchanting information is like taking coal to New Castle.

The others can be roughly grouped as follows with minor individual colorings:

1. Air or Road Accident deaths of wholesale families leaving unheard of millions of dollars in a Bank without a will or a nominee.

The Santa Claus in this transaction is the Chief Accountant or Manager of the concerned bank.

I always had a suspicion of these chaps. Tomorrow I am going to make a trip to my Bank and give the entire List of the dozen of my Degree Recipients as 'nominees' for my millions, in the order in which they occur in my Schindler's List posted on an earlier blog of mine.

I always thought that Hyderabad tops the Road accidents. But I find that Purkina Lasso in Africa wins hands down.

Hyderabad can still try.

2. Then there are those huge prizes my e-mail has won. This is just wonderful. I never knew that gps1943@yahoo.com is such a lucky thing. I thank my son for inventing this id for me.

These come in several varieties: National Lotteries of various countries like W. K. and also Southwestern Union Money Transfers.

Also bottling giants like Boka- Bola.

3. Then the absolutely novel schemes like well-known Hotel Chains asking me to apply for 'vacancies, vacancies, vacancies!!!!' in their works.

Apparently there is such a shortage of unskilled professionals in their countries that they had to ask me to apply.

The beauty is that there is no experience required. They will train me at their own expense before absorbing me with fantastic salaries, benefits, holiday and health incentives.

Again, all they want for now is my age and sex.

I guess I should bluff: Instead of writing 67 and M, I should write 17 and F.

Let me see.

4. The latest well-wisher is: 'Loan Sanction Scheme'.

These are willing to lend me anything upto a million dollars, without any guarantees, for personal purposes like home, car, refinance..you name it they have it.

And only at a pittance of 3% (Pavala Vaddi of YSR).

I can only wonder how they could figure out that my lifestyle is so dissolute.

5. This one takes the cake. It is from: 'Lo 5'.

They have been pestering me to join the site, citing various folks who are dying to befriend me.

Since I already have too many online friends I didn't bother.

But today they sent me half a dozen pictures of voluptuous dames in various enticing poses (I find that my mail server has unhappily blocked them all by the evening).

While I always want to peek at such things, they must know that it is like casting pearls before old swine.

Still, I appreciate their gesture.

More of the same thing please!

6. Lastly my own mail server keeps periodically advising that they are remodeling their entire site and threatening that if I don't at once submit my login and password my e-mail will become defunct.

That is precisely what I want now!!!

I am suffering from a very bad case of spondylitis due to inveterate mailing and blogging.

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P. S. The other day my net-connection at home conked off. So I visited the nearest cybercafe to check my mails.

Each cubicle is dark and dingy, I don't know why.

And the letters on all keyboards are completely erased by overuse. So, for a hunt-and-poke artist like me it can take anything like an hour to compose a small para.

And I found that the mouse was misbehaving. The cursor didn't follow the usual commands at all: it was going all over the place except where I wanted.

After a few minutes, I discovered that, in total darkness, I was holding the mouse by its head rather than its tail and asking it to perform.

Try it, it is great fun!


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