gps-Defintion of Genius

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"Unpretending mediocrity is good, and genius is glorious; but a weak flavor of genius in an essentially commonplace character is detestable. It spoils the grand neutrality of a commonplace character, as the rinsings of an unwashed wineglass spoil a draught of fair water"............

..............Autocrat of the Breakfast Table..........

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How comforting! How wonderful to be unpretendingly mediocre!

I guess Genius is Glorious because it is so rare. If all were Geniuses, the one who is not would be mobbed.

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Here is a rare genius I watched with wonder:

When we were kids, a dozen of us used to flock around my cousin GRP (sadly no more.....this thing is becoming contagious rather...looks like pretty soon you will be narrating to your greatgrandkids these tall tales of gps, sadly no more).

We used to beg GRP to please give us his Animal Show. He would feign busy or tired till all of us beseech him long enough.

He would then get up the stone theen (raised platform in the courtyard), come to the Lotus Posture squatting with folded legs, clasp his hands on his head, spine straight as a stick, close his eyes, take a deep breath, and wiggle his ample earlobes up and down, back and forth, round and round, flap them making clicking sounds with his tongue in cheek......

There would be waves of roar upon roar at each display bringing the house down, till his Shakespeare-Father, trying to prepare for his day's lecture, would descend on us and shoo us all away.

Within minutes we would gather again for an encore elsewhere, but he would have none of it; but would bring out the weekly Andhra Patrika, turn to the relevant page and show us the Photo-Feature with monkeys, dogs and asses in it under the Title: Human Traits in the Animal Kingdom; and would gul that next week there would be his photo under their new Feature: Animal Traits in the Human Kingdom.

He would also threaten that next time onwards he would charge One Anna per person per Show.

As the Upanishads are (again) fond of saying, there is also this regarding this:

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The Old Man Dreams (a la Hemingway):

Last night I dreamed that I was visiting IIT KGP for the first time 5 years after retirement. And found that there was a long line of students, teachers, ricksha-walas, and shopkeepers' boys in front of Harry's all the way to the Hijli Station:

The ever-enterprising Tikka of Harry's was standing in front of his new kiosk collecting money.

The placard said: "Pay Rs 100 & Shake Hands with gps".

I asked Gitai of Prem Bazaar famous for his charming (fake) stammer, who was in the line:

Me: "Ki hocchey ikhane?:...(What goes on here)?"

Gitai: "Ja..Ja..Jaanee na; Shu..Shu..Shunchi... ek jon purankar bhadralog phirechen:....(I hear a gentleman of olden days has returned)".

Me: "Taakaa nebey keno hath milathey?:....(Why does he demand cash for shaking hands)?"

Gitai: "O..O..Ora bolchey ...U..U..Uni... Shu...Shu..Shudhu...Ekaai... IIT the jini ekkibaari Ge...Ge..Genius chilo naa:... (They say he was the ONLY one in IIT who was not even a Weak Genius)"

I borrowed a Hundred Rupee Note from Gitai and joined the line.

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1961: Out-Gate of Andhra University, Waltair

There was a huge crowd storming the Cigarette Shop boasting the only Portable Croaking Radio Set around. I too joined and came to know that for the first time in history India was on the verge of defeating Australia, at Kanpur.

I didn't know much of cricket since I never handled a bat or ball. But of course my father at 75 used to glue his humming Transistor Set to his ear, shouting and cursing and sighing heavily.

And he couldn't tell a Googly from Hooghly.

So, that crazy evening at our staid University, whenever there was this boisterous shout from the one nearest the set who pretended he knew, all of us joined lustily, only to discover that it was declared a No-Ball, upon which everyone would follow the leader in cursing our own unpatriotic Umpires.

The whole thing reminded me of Herr Slossenn Boschen of Jerome K Jerome.

By and by after several such repeats, the Portable Radio Set went up in the air and was caught and thrown up and caught and thrown up....

And amidst thunderous applause the Bunk-Owner opened his flood gates for the first time in 30 years and threw ALL the Cigarette Packets in his shop up in the air for general public (sadly he was four years too early for me).

All Classes, Government Offices, and Law Courts were deserted the next day amidst unprecedented revelry.

I read later that the Star Performer was one Jasu Patel who bagged 14 for 124 and a Padma Shri.

But no one heard of him either before or after that glorious performance.

Here is his wiki-entry:

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Jasu Patel:

".....At the age of ten, he broke his arm falling from a tree. Because of this injury he had a jerky bowling action, which some considered suspicious. He bowled off-cutters more than conventional off breaks. He was particularly dangerous on matting wickets where he got prodigious turn.......

He and Vijay Hazare were the first cricketers to be honoured with the Padma Shri.

Patel's 14 for 124 were the best bowling figures by an Indian bowler. It remained so for nearly thirty years before it was bettered by another one-Test wonder, Narendra Hirwani........." .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jasu_Patel

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Jasujee sure won a Padma Shri. And Padma awards in my Nehru Era were as different from today's as Googly is from Hooghly.

But I doubt if cognoscenti would call him a Genius. Nor would he have earned Endorsement Billions if they were there, which they weren't.

For being labeled Genius, a Flash-in-the-Pan won't do. One must perform consistently for decades at the Top of the Table...

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I think I have now solved the Unsolved Problem of coming up with a Universal Definition of Genius, Weak & Strong:

Weak Genius = 1. Brilliant Performer but not Consistent or 2. Consistent Performer but not Brilliant or 3. Brilliant Consistent Non-Performer

Strong Genius = Brilliant Consistent Performer (Devil Take the Hindmost).

I am applying for Patent, IPR, Book and Film Rights etc....

If the above definition of Strong Genius evokes in you the Image of Eternal Orgasm, it is YOU who is Bent.......


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