Sunday, October 3, 2010

Whowritit?

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Nowadays I feel overawed. You too would if you were in my place and have even a weak stain of conscience.

Blogspot's Audience stats tells me that our mythical Posts are keenly Viewed (not Read) in the following Alien-Corn-Non-English-Speaking-Countries:

.........Emirates, Netherlands, Ukraine, Israel (!), South Korea, Sweden, Czech Republic, Denmark, Singapore, Russia, Germany, Japan, Brazil............

Next will be Timbuctoo & Tipperary.

All this fame (Hmm) puts a lot of Social Responsibility on me. There are (at least) two diametrically opposite views on the Social Responsibility of Writers (Hmm):

Conformist: This set demands that we be politically, grammatically and sexually Evenhanded and Correct.

Anarchist: This set laughs all of it away, says Devil-May-Care: we owe nothing to anyone other than our (meal)Maker as long as we keep safely away from litigation involving Intellectual (Hmm) Property Rights, Defamation Suits and Income Tax (if any) Authorities.

While I was deeply pondering on these Heavy Water Matters in our nukkad Teashop, a little bird whispered in my ear that I just made an Abominable Ass of myself, ran home and replaced 'discretely' with 'discreetly' (a totally different fish) in the blog I posted an hour ago.

Social Responsibility.

Apart from everything else English has been my bread, butter and leisure (lots of it) for the past 60 years. So I feel obliged to contribute my mite (and might) to it by adding a few new flash words to it.

As you know, I have been trying to push gul into Standard English Dictionaries. For, the correct meaning is eluding these hidebound lexicographers. The word is missing from the hard copy of my Webster. I tried the latest flashy online thing and found this sole entry:

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gul: archaic Rose 1 (origin Persian)

I tried Rose 1 and found to my utter astonishment:

Rose 1: past of Rise.

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You see there is a double-whammy error there:

Persian Gul is the Rose 2 Flower. And it is not at all archaic.

The right entry should be:

gul: ultra-modern Bluff (origin Bengali)

(refer: http://gpsastry.blogspot.com)

Bluff: Deceit

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Jai Ho tried to gatecrash as the millionth word of English. It came a poor second as the 999,999 th word, beating Web 2.0:

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.........'Jai ho', a Hindi exclamation which translates as 'may you be victorious', narrowly missed the million mark and became the 999,999th term to enter the language..........................................

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5495410/Millionth-word-in-the-English-language-Web-2.0.html

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I was trying to see if my latest invention:

WHOWRITIT

is already a good word in the online Webster.

It says:

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The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above.

1. whirligig

2. wheelwright

3. whole wheat

4. wholehearted

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whirligig, wheelwright, whole wheat, wholehearted: My Foot!

Even nine-month old Ishani (now away at Nellore and for whose edification all these blogs are being writ) would have guessed aright:

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WHOWRITIT: poor copy of WHODUNIT (origin gpsastry)

If

"whodunit means: a detective or mystery story (alteration of who done it?)"

for Webster, then

whowritit ought to mean: a detective or mystery story (alteration of who writ it?)

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Please don't tell me that it should be: whowrittenit, which sounds awful.

........writ is taken from F Scott Fitzgerald's Rubaiyat

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(Poem # 545):

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ
Moves on: nor all your Piety and Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line
Nor all your Tears wash a Word of it"

............................................Omar Khayyam

http://wonderingminstrels.blogspot.com/2000/09/moving-finger-writes-and-having-writ.html


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I would have gladly deferred to your preference:

WHOKEYBOARDEDIT

but for the ugly fact that although it is factually descriptive, it is as clumsy as the Hanuman langur's tail:

"Their tail is always longer than their body"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_langur

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So who are these Anonymous Poets posting wonderful Poetry on my blogposts, stretching all the way from Robert Frost to Monty Python?

Aniket was silent when I accosted him publicly with Frost, but he was quick to deny privately that he had anything to do with any species of Pythons.

Come on: Whowritit?

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There is a popular but misguided opinion among Blogger Communities that all Anonymous Comments ought to be Deleted Prompto.

I don't subscribe to this view.

Most Anonymous equally poetic
Commenters offer me free samples of various pills.

I need them all:

"Red Pills for ills mental
Green Pills for dental
Li'l Blue Pills: Fundamental"

...............................Anonymous


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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; writing a complete man.
- Bacon, a fat man

gpsastry said...

Here is the only Monty Python song that Aniket says he knows:

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From "The Life of Brian" of Monty Python fame:
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Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the light side of life.

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

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Anonymous said...

"The bright side of life" song is another gem from Monty Python and leads up to the climax in "life of brian", one of my favourite movies. There is another delightfully irreverent song from "The Meaning of Life", but one which may be too bawdy for some, so I won't paste it here.

When you blog for all and sundry
Inventing words wonderful,
From "whowritit" to "gul",
Damn the anonymous poster's effrontery!
It need not leave you in a quandary.