Magic Hands

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My good Mother (now going strong at 89) is a fantastic cook and used to be 'complimented' as a lady with 'Magic Hands'.

She tolerated the expression till her brilliant medico-son-in-law was also once complimented as a Doctor with 'Magic Hands'.

She then flared up in public and said:

"Hands are only tools of the brain. The magic is in the brain. It is the brain which decides how much salt is needed for this much dal, how many mirchies are good for this much sabjee, and how to improvise when an unbidden guest arrives at mealtime. So with my son-in-law: his hands only write the prescription; the command comes from his brilliant brain."

...A typical case of M-i-L and S-i-L ganging up...she never had a good word for my cooking...my favorite meal being rice and chips day in and night out. Why waste time in the kitchen when vitamin-mineral-enzyme supplements are available much cheaper in the market?

And she had always expressed doubts about my Economics, saying:

"Everyone else in the family think before spending...you alone spend without thinking".

My answer to this snub is that if I start thinking, I would never be able to spend...on cigarettes or Sherlock Holmes...or Ishani booklets...

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Speaking of medicine and doctors, I first heard of homeopathy after I went to KGP.

And found that there is a homeo-lover lurking in each Bengali heart...male or female...high and mighty... or lean and mean. Bengalis love miracles and miracle cures. And homeopaths and their pathy fill their bill to a tee. And since Bengalis never bother to 'earn' money, they have got to 'save' it. And homeopathy is as cheap as you wish.

A highly respected Bengali Senior Professor at KGP who was the ultimate book-lover and a wizard in his profession once told me this story:

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"Dr X is a homeopath whom I visit regularly. He is gifted with 'Magic Hands'. He will take your pulse and think for a few moments and give you a few pills for Rs 5 (Five only)!

I once consulted him when I had mucus motions. He listened to my description raptly and prescribed Bella Vista XXX {;-}

Just one dose of the medicine cured me. And I couldn't resist asking him how he hit upon this particular drug.

And he told me: It is pretty simple...mucus motion has the look and consistency of a running nose. So, I prescribed the medicine which is standard cure for running nose.

See, Professor Sastry, the Magic is not in the Hands but in the Brilliant Brain operating them!"

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When I was narrating this bit of dialogue to my allopathic wife, my 8-year-old son who had a perennial nose-block and an inhaler in his pocket retorted:

"Dad, now I know what to do if I have constipation!"

When I narrated this story to DB he simply trashed it saying that it was all my concoction and no eight-year-old can come up with such a fancy repartee.

I am sorry DB is not with us now. Otherwise I would have shown him how my son uses the Principles of Homeopathy in Project Management which he says is all to do with Magic Hands (and at times with Magic Legs to run for cover).

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