Parkerisms

===================================================================

Here are a few of my favorite Dorothy Parker's vitriols:

****************************************************************************************************** 

1. 

"The cure for boredom is curiosity.

There is no cure for curiosity."

2. 

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

3. 

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

4. 

"I like to have a martini,

Two at the very most.

After three I'm under the table,

After four I'm under my host."

5. 

"Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp;

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren’t lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live."

6. 

"I hate writing, I love having written."

7. 

"That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them."

8. 

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."

9. 

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

10. 

"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things."

11. 

"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."

12. 

"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised." 

13.

"She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."

14. 

"As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night."

********************************************************************************************

Courtesy:

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/24956.Dorothy_Parker

=====================================================================