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The Cancer Center at the Corporate Hospital where my wife had undergone treatment for over a year is a lovely place. The Doctor who was treating her for over three years is the best in Hyderabad.
And my wife happened to be one of their early bird patients. And she was a medico.
With all this background, she was treated as one of their own 'family' there. And her ever-smiling face and my son's charming KGPian behavior meant that we were all special guests there.
But Corporate is Corporate and we had funny experiences with their governance, Indian style.
My son's new American Employers are cash cows as far as Medical Insurance goes. Both his parents are covered by skyhigh cashless insurance in Rupees which Saswat is trading so hard that pretty soon one dollar would sell at a hundred rupees to the merriment of all the software firms here. When Edwin told me a decade ago that he bought a ticket for $200 for a front seat to listen to Hawking's lecture in Boston, I told him that it is my one years' meal (I was cooking alone at home at KGP then and was surviving on a little rice and less potato). He was shocked and offered me six months of food bill as a gift ;-)
So, as soon as we stepped into the centrally air-conditioned plush basement Cancer Center housing all those Scanners and Bombarders based on High Energy Physics, we would be met with a welcoming smile by the tall Tie-Guy who looks after Insurance.
And his efficiency matched his courtesy.
Six months ago my wife had a bone scan and was asked to undergo ten sittings of radiation at the lower two vertebrae which were slowly being eaten away. And she did that and it did immense good to her...she was back on her feet.
And the Bill, we were told, for each 'sitting' was Rs 2000; so the total bill to be charged to the Insurer was Rs 20, 000.
A week later when my son looked up his Insurance Updates he was mystified that the Insurers were happily charged Rs 2000 only (one zero missing on the right side).
On our next visit to the Cancer Center, my son showed the ever-smiling Tie-Guy their Bill and pointed out that a goof-up was there and a matter of a tiny Rs 18,000 which was due to the Cancer Center from the Insurers was not billed and so the Corporate Hospital is at a loss by that tiny amount.
His tie went livid.
He picked up the intercom and banged the Billing Lady on the fifth floor left and right asking finally:
"Has anyone ever heard of just ONE sitting of radiation for cancer?"
The Lady's voice could be heard by us. She was nonchalant saying that even the Creator makes mistakes once in a while...she was a sitting example ;-)
And asked the Tie-Guy to shut up and keep it shut since it was not 'his' pocket money that went up in smoke.
Ladies can be very pragmatic till they burn their saris.
A month later, on our next visit to the posh Cancer Center, we were met with a glum Tie-Guy who said shamefacedly that the Lady in the Billing Section wanted to meet my son urgently.
So, my son and I went up the Fifth floor and on our way I told my son to listen to her quietly but report to me before answering her.
She was all smiles and offered us two seats away from the crowd and switched on all her charm and said many things whose gist was:
She was caught leg and middle by her monthly auditors for her missing zero which cost the Hospital what she now said was a 'whopping' (not 'tiny') Rs 18,000. And they asked her to rectify the mistake retrospectively and get that amount from the Insurers. And she tried mailing, talking, chatting, pleading, imploring the Other Lady manning her 'equivalent' seat at the Insurance Company. And was asked to suck her thumb since "that file is closed". And when she said this to her Bosses here they said: "To err is human and to forgive divine....but Corporate Hospitals are not Divine Charity Hospitals...so please cough up that 'tiny' amount at one go or in easy installments of 10 or less with a 'tiny' compounded interest of 15% as a shining example to set to the Billing Section Employees"
So the Sweet Lady tearfully said that she has a large family to support starting with a paralytic father and lunatic mother downwards (as true as my blogs).
The Bottom Line was that my son was as good as her own son and so:
"Please understand that we are poor folks and Rs 18,000 would be a big hole and so do the needful by coughing it up right away and 'recover' it later from your Insurers"
My son came to me and asked me what to do. I asked him to tell her that the Other Lady at the Insurers Desk was also not running a Mother Teresa Charity and she too has a paralytic father and lunatic mother.
And when he said this to our Billing Lady she smiled and told my son cryptically:
"I can assure you it is not going to matter in the long run to you"
My son didn't quite follow her (they don't teach these things at the software firms) and came to me once again to ask what she meant. I had to translate her remark into plain English thus:
"Your mom is a cancer patient with a relapse and no hope of recovery. We will keep her alive till after all your Insurance Cover is exhausted and also your Bank Balance and also your Father's Retirement Funds. So, how does it matter to you if you pay this tiny amount now or later?"
My son was shell-shocked and was about to throttle her. But I told him to go back and tell her:
"I will surely pay it up if and only if our Doctor asked me to do so personally - as insisted by him in the past".
This made her go livid, since she would then be like Feynman's drums getting beat up with both hands. But I stood firm.
A couple of days later, the Doctor had to call my son privately into his chamber and say 'sorry' on behalf of the entire Billing Section.
I told my son to pay it up now as a humanitarian gesture for a Lady with a paralytic father and a lunatic mother. Which he did and was practically embraced by her.
The beauty of the whole thing is that the Corporate Insurers never never ever let out for how much they would cover a terminally ill cancer patient to either the Tie-Guy or the Billing Lady or even the Doctor. It is their darkest secret. These chaps can only guess....and their best guesses are several orders of magnitude lower than the Truth which my son and me know and smile...to exhaust the whole insurance cover they have to keep the patient in the costliest ICU (without ventilator) for a whole year maybe...
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The Cancer Center at the Corporate Hospital where my wife had undergone treatment for over a year is a lovely place. The Doctor who was treating her for over three years is the best in Hyderabad.
And my wife happened to be one of their early bird patients. And she was a medico.
With all this background, she was treated as one of their own 'family' there. And her ever-smiling face and my son's charming KGPian behavior meant that we were all special guests there.
But Corporate is Corporate and we had funny experiences with their governance, Indian style.
My son's new American Employers are cash cows as far as Medical Insurance goes. Both his parents are covered by skyhigh cashless insurance in Rupees which Saswat is trading so hard that pretty soon one dollar would sell at a hundred rupees to the merriment of all the software firms here. When Edwin told me a decade ago that he bought a ticket for $200 for a front seat to listen to Hawking's lecture in Boston, I told him that it is my one years' meal (I was cooking alone at home at KGP then and was surviving on a little rice and less potato). He was shocked and offered me six months of food bill as a gift ;-)
So, as soon as we stepped into the centrally air-conditioned plush basement Cancer Center housing all those Scanners and Bombarders based on High Energy Physics, we would be met with a welcoming smile by the tall Tie-Guy who looks after Insurance.
And his efficiency matched his courtesy.
Six months ago my wife had a bone scan and was asked to undergo ten sittings of radiation at the lower two vertebrae which were slowly being eaten away. And she did that and it did immense good to her...she was back on her feet.
And the Bill, we were told, for each 'sitting' was Rs 2000; so the total bill to be charged to the Insurer was Rs 20, 000.
A week later when my son looked up his Insurance Updates he was mystified that the Insurers were happily charged Rs 2000 only (one zero missing on the right side).
On our next visit to the Cancer Center, my son showed the ever-smiling Tie-Guy their Bill and pointed out that a goof-up was there and a matter of a tiny Rs 18,000 which was due to the Cancer Center from the Insurers was not billed and so the Corporate Hospital is at a loss by that tiny amount.
His tie went livid.
He picked up the intercom and banged the Billing Lady on the fifth floor left and right asking finally:
"Has anyone ever heard of just ONE sitting of radiation for cancer?"
The Lady's voice could be heard by us. She was nonchalant saying that even the Creator makes mistakes once in a while...she was a sitting example ;-)
And asked the Tie-Guy to shut up and keep it shut since it was not 'his' pocket money that went up in smoke.
Ladies can be very pragmatic till they burn their saris.
A month later, on our next visit to the posh Cancer Center, we were met with a glum Tie-Guy who said shamefacedly that the Lady in the Billing Section wanted to meet my son urgently.
So, my son and I went up the Fifth floor and on our way I told my son to listen to her quietly but report to me before answering her.
She was all smiles and offered us two seats away from the crowd and switched on all her charm and said many things whose gist was:
She was caught leg and middle by her monthly auditors for her missing zero which cost the Hospital what she now said was a 'whopping' (not 'tiny') Rs 18,000. And they asked her to rectify the mistake retrospectively and get that amount from the Insurers. And she tried mailing, talking, chatting, pleading, imploring the Other Lady manning her 'equivalent' seat at the Insurance Company. And was asked to suck her thumb since "that file is closed". And when she said this to her Bosses here they said: "To err is human and to forgive divine....but Corporate Hospitals are not Divine Charity Hospitals...so please cough up that 'tiny' amount at one go or in easy installments of 10 or less with a 'tiny' compounded interest of 15% as a shining example to set to the Billing Section Employees"
So the Sweet Lady tearfully said that she has a large family to support starting with a paralytic father and lunatic mother downwards (as true as my blogs).
The Bottom Line was that my son was as good as her own son and so:
"Please understand that we are poor folks and Rs 18,000 would be a big hole and so do the needful by coughing it up right away and 'recover' it later from your Insurers"
My son came to me and asked me what to do. I asked him to tell her that the Other Lady at the Insurers Desk was also not running a Mother Teresa Charity and she too has a paralytic father and lunatic mother.
And when he said this to our Billing Lady she smiled and told my son cryptically:
"I can assure you it is not going to matter in the long run to you"
My son didn't quite follow her (they don't teach these things at the software firms) and came to me once again to ask what she meant. I had to translate her remark into plain English thus:
"Your mom is a cancer patient with a relapse and no hope of recovery. We will keep her alive till after all your Insurance Cover is exhausted and also your Bank Balance and also your Father's Retirement Funds. So, how does it matter to you if you pay this tiny amount now or later?"
My son was shell-shocked and was about to throttle her. But I told him to go back and tell her:
"I will surely pay it up if and only if our Doctor asked me to do so personally - as insisted by him in the past".
This made her go livid, since she would then be like Feynman's drums getting beat up with both hands. But I stood firm.
A couple of days later, the Doctor had to call my son privately into his chamber and say 'sorry' on behalf of the entire Billing Section.
I told my son to pay it up now as a humanitarian gesture for a Lady with a paralytic father and a lunatic mother. Which he did and was practically embraced by her.
The beauty of the whole thing is that the Corporate Insurers never never ever let out for how much they would cover a terminally ill cancer patient to either the Tie-Guy or the Billing Lady or even the Doctor. It is their darkest secret. These chaps can only guess....and their best guesses are several orders of magnitude lower than the Truth which my son and me know and smile...to exhaust the whole insurance cover they have to keep the patient in the costliest ICU (without ventilator) for a whole year maybe...
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