Saturday, June 30, 2012

Lame Excuses - 3

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When someone gives you a lame excuse and you know it is as lame as Long John Silver:









http://the-last-shall-be-first.blogspot.in/2007_09_01_archive.html




and he knows it too and he knows you know it and you know he knows it...it is best to take it at its face value and leave it at that unless you want to call the bluff.

There was a time at IIT KGP when it was considered by most that it is a privilege to be associated with IIT JEE in whatever capacity.


Then there was this younger colleague of mine, an extremely talented Engg Professor D with a bright future, who was just then appointed as Chairman, JEE. And he had absolute rights to pick up his Vice-Chairman, Paper-Setters, Admin Officers, Exam-Conductors, Code-Makers (and Breakers), Guest Examiners, Head (and Tail) Examiners, Scrutineers, Tabulators...the entire well-oiled war-machinery, like a monarch of all he surveys.


Every bit of this work had lollipops stretching from air-travel and hospitality to voluptuous remuneration...ok call it honorarium (sometimes misspelt as honororium).

So Professor D, who apparently liked me although we never spoke much to each other, sent feelers that he would like me to be his Vice. And I sent back feeeeeeelers that I am not interested. 

He should have left it at that. But possibly he was surprised or whatever, and so caught me one day near the cycle-shed and said:

"I will be happy if you agree to be my Vice"

"I am honored, but I am so poor and weak at administration that I will surely bungle it and you will dismiss me...I am basically a Teacher"

He accepted my lame excuse and six months later, he caught me again at the cycle shed (this seemed to be the most anonymous official rendezvous...next only to the Harrys crowd) and said:

"Ha, now I have an academic assignment just tailored for you...please be the Physics Paper-Setter from KGP."

"Where is the venue?"

"IIT Delhi"

"Oh, no! As you know, I have a weak stomach with hyper-acidity and ulcers prone to rupture the stomach lining. So, my Doctor (I didn't say my M.D. wife) advised me not to take outside food under any circumstances. So, it would be unwise for me to travel to Delhi and stay put there for a fortnight eating the rich food that is traditionally offered to JEE Paper-Setters who are treated as personal guests of the Director"

He accepted this lamer excuse too. I knew he was waiting for the next move and was prepared.

An year later (into his 3-year term), he caught me once again near the cycle-shed and smiled and said:

"This year the Physics Paper is being set at KGP itself...so you don't have to travel, and I will permit you to eat at home during the quarantine-fortnight"

"Sorry, Professor...I love teaching but hate everything associated with it as (un)necessary evils...like Paper-Setting, Invigilation, Script-Evaluation, Awarding Grades...Moreover there is now nothing that I can learn at the JEE level by wasting a long fortnight...And right now I am in the midst of working out the first 15 Chapters of Weinberg (an excellent but trying tome) and the assignment you offered will derail it"

Prof D smiled a knowing smile...he didn't lecture me as usual, asking:

"If everyone escapes like this, how will JEE run?"

because he knew I would reel out a dozen names who would be more than willing to participate in his Juggernaut...

...the sign of a good Administrator.

I guess all that he wanted was to call my bluff and pin me down...and I must have made him happy.

But of course we became very good friends then on and remain so to this day though he has scaled the ethereal heights of Academic Administration while I took to relentless blogging...a la carte...


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