Saturday, July 13, 2013

Tamaso Ma - 14

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The next caution for me was that I shouldn't bend forward...no-no-no...for a month after my eye surgery.

Ha! I thought. 

This is one thing I had quit doing decades ago...after I stopped the sandhyavandanam my Father taught me when he performed my upanayanam at 14. Sandhyavandanam entailed reciting my pravara which is a formal way of introducing myself to my teachers and elders. I am supposed to stand up erect, cover my ears with my palms, and recite:

Abhivaadaye kaashyapa vatsaara naidhruva triarsheya pravaraanvita kaashyapa gotra: aapastambha sutra: yaju:sakhadhyayee prabhakara sarman aham bho abhivadaye

And then bend forward and touch my feet and the feet of my guru. The shlok tells my gotra, rishis of my clan, the veda and sutras of my paternal lineage, and my given name...my complete business card.

Nor do I sweep my floor with the Indian style broom...the jhadu...my D-i-L does it kindly for me. Nor do I wear shoes like my son who gets all dressed up for his office, sits down on the chair, and wears his socks and shoes, ties their laces, and polishes them once in a while...all bending-down actions.

But I wanted do be sure, and a day before my surgery, I tried counting the occasions, if any, in 24 hours, when I did have to bend forward.

And the number came to a whopping 20. It started with picking up the 3 milk packets and 2 newspapers dumped on the floor outside our main door by their vendors. And picking up Ishani's school bag and water bottle before we leave for her school. And my specs from the middle of my cot. And such and so involuntary pick-ups.

Talking of sitting down on chairs I recall the lovely lec-dem in the Netaji Auditorium by Dr Sethi famous for designing the Jaipur foot. He started his show saying how we in India have a floor-sitting culture rather than the chair-sitting culture of the West. That was the need for a different design of flexible prosthetic foot for people like our street-side cobblers who squat on the floor in the lotus posture all their working hours tucking their legs in.

Prof. MSS stunned me one day asking me to get up from my chair with my spine erect and my hands clasping each other...it just can't be done. You have got to bend forward. It is a question mechanics.

During my school years at Muthukur we had two teachers...one was called: "Mottikayala Sir" (Head-clumping sir). The other was: "Veepu guddula sir" (Back-thumping sir). Both would hit their students without getting up from their chairs. The former would ask his victim to sit down to take his head-clumps, while the latter would ask him to bend forward to take his spine-thumps. 


Another famous bending-quote is due to our Advanijee. During Indirajee's infamous Emergency he was jailed for months like his other colleagues in the Opposition. Indirajee's obedient IAS Babus asked all newspapers to send in their news items and editorials for vetting before they were printed. And made 'suitable' corrections like changing "Indira Gandhi's excesses" to "Indira Gandhi's successes".

All newspaper owners obeyed except a few like Ramnath Goenka. 

When the Emergency was lifted (due to the lack of correct feedback from newsmen) and Advanijee was released from jail, he remarked famously:

"They were asked to bend and they chose to crawl"

I suspect that this may be a true translation from a proverb in Hindi...it sounds like it...I don't know.

Proverbs and idioms are native to their lingo and sound piquant when true-translated.

Dr N. Sanjeeva Reddy, our ex-President, once remarked while he was the Speaker of Lok Sabha:

"This Parliament is behaving like the fence that starts eating its garden"

...a true translation from the Telugu proverb:

"Kancheye chenu mesina"

Our popular maths prof, Dr. MLV, once compared his rowdy class room with a:

"Frogs Balance"

...a true translation from the Telugu idiom:

"Kappala Takkida" 

...meaning what a troubled effort weighing a dozen-odd frogs in the beam balance of our Tech Market would be.

Try it...while you quieten one frog into sitting still, half a dozen others jump out...

And the retired Executive Engineer in our Faculty Hostel who, I said the other day, used to pore over the Stock Market columns of newspapers, said one day about the petty thieves of KGP:

"You bend and they will steal your balls"

...a true translation from the Telugu saying:

"Vongite vattalu kottestaru"


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