A little skullduggery

================================

I apologize for the awkward Title; as well as the awkward Content.

All men have egos. Intellectuals have insatiate egos.

During my time at IIT KGP there was a perennial stream of people claiming to have proved Einstein wrong. I don't know what exactly they had against him. They never bothered about Bohr, Heisenberg, Schrodinger or even Feynman, I don't know why.

Now, one of the bounden duties of the HoD of the prestigious Physics Department at IIT KGP is to educate, elucidate and illuminate the General Public who happen to be so inclined. So, he used to get on the average one 'Article' every year by an author claiming profusely and profoundly that Einstein was wrong thus and so.

And the HoD had to respond suitably.

[Aside: Unfortunately for me, I had to always strive to prove Einstein right to my students; that is what I got paid for, sort of. And I had to invent my own 'Thought Experiments' to buttress my claims that he was right once and again. Sumita cried to me that she had a tough time proving me right (needlessly) in her Grand Viva facing several Hassles who riled against any experiments that can't be performed in their Research Labs. All I could do to compensate was by acknowledging her in my famous Paper.]

Anyway the Hod, whoever he happened to be, used to forward the Article to me anonymously asking me to draft a suitable response as early as possible (before complaints reached higher and the highest authorities; my son tells me that the Project Manger's lingo for this is to 'escalate').

DB escaped this torture because no one ever dreamed of proving Gel'fand wrong; knowledgeable colleagues at worst claimed that Gel'fand was no Physicist, stop.

In the beginning I used to go through the weird logic, try and work out the steps if any, sweat myself and prepare a well-crafted essay defending Einstein as best as I could, by showing up inconsistencies, inaccuracies and pure cussedness in the Author's logic or lack of it.

The HoD would get it typed in his Official Letterhead and send it per Departmental Post under his Official Signature attested by HoD's glorious Rubber Stamp. I got nothing but intellectual satisfaction since it was my bounden duty to respond on behalf of Einstein. In hindsight I could have outsourced it to my Indrajit Mitras and Anikets, but the buck had after all to stop somewhere and it better did it with me.

After a couple of these attempts, I realized that the 'Article' must have been doing its rounds all over the world before dropping into my lap.

So, I used to keep it in cold storage for exactly a week and then draft the following blanket response:

"The ideas appear to be new and sound. The logic equally so. The Math is standard. I can find no obvious fault. However, I suggest that the Author send his 'Article' to a suitable Professional Journal, like Physical Review Letters".

The HoD whoever he was, would get that typed and signed and posted.

After all, I was nowhere in the picture!

But no harm came to our Hod either. The harm if any went to PRL's Editorial Assistants.

I did have one beautiful experience though.

One fine morning, Professor BC, the then HoD and a modest man, rushed into my Office, and dumped on me a hand-written Reply Post Card from a gentleman from Kamarpukur. He asked our HoD to please explain to him kindly (1) Chandrasekhar Limit (just when he got his belated Nobel) and (2) pH Meter, in the accompanying Reply-Paid Post Card.

That was indeed a delectable challenge.

I took about a couple of hours drafting samples on my Reprint Request Cards so as not to spoil his Card.

And gave it to BC. He read it, liked it and asked me if I would mind if he signed it.

I, of course, said it was my pleasure. Noblesse' Oblige!

To my surprise, BC walked into my Office after a fortnight and dumped in my lap another Post Card from the same gentleman thanking BC profusely by name for enlightening him; and praying for and conveying the Blessings of Sri Sri Ramakrishnadeb and Saradamai on BC and all his family members.

BC bent his head down and muttered: "These are for you!"; blushed and walked away before I could offer him Tea under my Mango Tree in the Co-Op Canteen.


=================================