People collect coins, stamps, books and antiques; also spectacles, watches, pens and samples of body fluids of Gandhijee for outright sale or auction.
They all leave their Beloved Collections behind to their progeny when they depart from here.
I however am a Smile Collector.
I take my Collection with me wherever I go, here or hereafter. Collecting smiles is a Passion with me and I have been doing this from childhood. These are free and nobody else wants them...strictly Private Property.
As with coins and stamps, the thing is to classify smiles and label them in identifiable groups such as:
1. Beatific Smiles: These are the best and truly Divine, the sole preserve of babies and saints. Unfortunately I met no saint but I have watched four of my younger sisters, son, and granddaughter closely when they were just 3 months old....the tender age at which they flash their first smile of love at their moms.
2. Ingratiating Smiles: These are the worst and are flashed when people have an axe to grind. None of my students did this; they were too dignified for this. But Gouri Babu of the Accounts Section of IIT KGP must have seen these on my face the couple of dozen times I had to approach him for dire PF Loans.
3. Understanding Smiles: I have seen hundreds of these when suddenly one or the other of my students thought that they have absorbed a tough concept that was beyond me.
4. Ununderstanding Smiles: Also called Grin; a charming sight in Grand Viva when the victim has absolutely no clue.
5. Recognition Smiles: These are the broadest and most spontaneous and pleasing. Tikka at Harry's, Mohinder at Thacker's, Bolai Babu and his youngest brother Nitai, Bhanja Tailors, and the twins Lav & Kush, the Tea Dispensers at the Tech Market, flashed these at me when I resurfaced at KGP 5 years after my retirement.
6. Mona Lisa Smiles: These are well known to be due to a congenital deformity in the facial muscles. I better leave it at that.
7. Victorious Smiles: My Guru SDM flashed these whenever the referee of Annals of Physics had to admit that he could in no way follow how Eq. 16 comes from Eq. 15...SDM gobbled up at least ten intermediate Equations...these are largely self-defeating because all such Victories are at best Pyrrhic.
8. Sardonic Smiles: One never knows whether the smiler is smiling at you or your so-called joke. My grandmom was famous for these.
9. Toothy Smiles: The fortunate few who had a wonderful set of teeth like my father and Madhuri Dixit could afford these.
10. Toothless Smiles: The smiles of Gandhijee and Ishani are samples of these wonders.
11. Ocular Smiles: Those who have dirty teeth like me have to resort to these.
12. Disarming Smiles: Grand Viva again, but the hapless victim has to be beautiful.
13. Silent Smiles: These are called chuckles; Aniket is expert at these, even on phone...
14. Superior Smiles: SPK regrets that his friends and relatives wrongly accuse him of these; but at me he has always flashed his most charming smile...the genuine thing.
You can take it up from here...if you too are a Smile Collector
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2 comments:
I think it is in your list somewhere... But if we are in the mood of labelling smiles, how about explicitly adding one more: Condescending Smiles :)
I guess Condescending Smiles are a subgroup of Superior Smiles. If they are be be raised to an independent status, here is the description:
Condescending Smiles: When I found to my dismay I was promoted to a Professorship I thought on my own merit, half a dozen Professors from IIT KGP and one from IISc Bangalore flashed this smile at me, implying they had a hidden hand in it...Hand of Gods!
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