Thursday, February 3, 2011

Bitter Pills

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If you have lived as long as I did, you will know that Life occasionally administers you Bitter Pills in Public.

And if you are as wise as I am accused to be, you will realize that it is better to swallow them rather than puke in Public.

Here are two ABSOLUTELY MYTHICAL stories:

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1. This one I heard from the Horse's Mouth:

This smart aleck student (SA) joined as a Research Scholar under the Joint Guidance of a Senior Professor (SP) and a Junior Professor (JP) for his Ph D.

SP was busy attending International Conferences & Seminars, bringing in Gigantic Project Funds and Interacting with VIP Professors worldwide; and thought that JP was taking care of SA.

JP was new to the Game and thought SP was taking care of SA.

Pure Academic Misunderstanding!

After 3 years SA applied for Extension of his Scholarship.

SP & JP conferred and discovered that both of them had neglected SA; but summoned SA to horsewhip him for not meeting either of them for 3 long years but having a Fine Time instead.

SA then presented them with Reprints of 6 Papers in Prestigious International Journals: 5 Singly authored by SA and one with the names of all 3 of them in the order: SA, SP & JP.

They got FURIOUS and complained to the HoD.

HoD listened to them, looked into the 6 Papers, and advised them to sleep over the matter for 24 hours and meet him the next day.

Next day arrived punctually and SP & JP met the HoD, who advised them to ask SA to write up and submit his thesis pronto and award him his Ph D as soon as possible before scandal breaks out.

They both agreed but asked: "How can we see SA's face after this?"

HoD replied:

"Professor Z from Scandinavia urgently wants a Smart Ph D for a Post-Doc Schol. I will gift him SA {;-}"

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2. This one I heard from my HM Father (May his Sublime Soul Rest in Peace!) as an Example of Unintended Repartee (UR):

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This Prince P (25) was a Narcissist and would spend hours facing his Godrej Mirror and scrutinizing with great pleasure his handsome features.

One day when he was watching from his balcony, he found the Young Palace Dhobi (YPD) bringing in the Palace Wash.

P found that YPD was the same height, weight, build and age as himself.

And ordered his two Personal Peons (PPs) to urgently fetch YPD.

YPD was shivering with fear; but P saw as he suspected that YPD's facial features also matched his own.

P smiled naughtily and asked YPD: "Was your Mother ever a Palace Employee (PE)?"

YPD shook his head dumb and replied with great trepidation: "Never, sir! But my Father was".

P ordered his PPs to release YPD and banish him to Scandinavia URGENTLY




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