Saturday, September 3, 2011

Power Nappers

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From today's DC:

New Delhi, Sept 2:

The RJD Chief, Mr Lalu Prasad, was literally caught napping in the Lok Sabha on Friday. He was seen dozing in his allocated first row seat which is right in front of the Speaker's chair. The Speaker, Ms Meira Kumar, noticed him dozing and requested his party colleague, Mr Uma Shankar Singh, seated in the second row to wake him up.

"Umashankarji, please wake him up," Ms Kumar said. Mr Singh promptly tapped Prasad on his shoulder and pointed out that the Speaker had noticed him sleeping.

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Long time ago, I wrote that judges should learn from Teachers (of IIT KGP) how to tackle ladies who shake their legs relentlessly in their hallowed courts of law:

http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2010/02/shake-leg.html

I think it is now time that Speakers too should learn how to tackle their MPs who are found napping harmlessly. Ignore them and if and when they happen to wake up, ask them to go the canteen, have a cup of hot tea and a wash.

I guess a power-nap is one of those unshakable parliamentary privileges of which the papers are full these days.

If necessary the Speaker should switch on Saigal's classic rendering:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX3PjVsLKu4

In the present case, there is ample reason for a nap...the proceedings must be terribly boring like the proverbial Day after the Ramlila Fair that lasted a dozen days and nights.

I guess, if we ignore Brahma's one-minute wink that equals a thousand year's slumber on earth, the record-breaking sleep (including coma) goes to Rip Van Winkle. It lasted a good 20 years.

Next comes Urmila-di's 14 year sleep that was exchanged with Laxman's wakefulness on his 24/7 watch over the safety of his brother Raam and his wife (Raam's).

Kumbhakarna's 6-months' sleep followed by 6-months' wakefulness doesn't count...they cancel each other.

Coming to Mahabharat, the power nap of Lord Krishna was momentous. Our Telugu Teacher in school told us that Duryodhan came to seek Krishna's help in the forthcoming Kurukshetra Battle and found him asleep on his sofa-cum-bed. And decided to wait it out and took up an empty chair at the head of the sofa. Arjun came down after a few moments but lodged himself right at the feet of Krishna.

As soon as he woke up, Krishna naturally noticed Arjun and then, turning his head saw Duryodhan. And was in a fix when he came to know that both had arrived on the same mission. To resolve his dilemma, Krishna proposed that he would give away his armies to one and himself to the other. And gave the first choice to Arjun. At which Duryodhan protested saying he arrived first. But Krishna retorted that he saw Arjun first, didn't he?

As it happens Arjun opted for Krishna, leaving his armies to Duryodhan which pleased him (Duryodhan) mightily...it is a case of what the doctor ordered happening to precisely coincide with what the patient wanted.

Ever since my teens I had been a light sleeper. I never slept in my class when I was a student (I bunked). And never slept in the post-lunch lab classes at KGP which were irresistibly somnolent during steamy March. I used to bore my junior colleagues with tall tales much to their annoyance...they preferred to doze (along with the students).

But once I had to pay through my nose for oversleeping. It was like this:

I was traveling from Gudur to KGP by the Howarh Janata Express which used to take a good 38 hours for its leisurely journey. After 24 hours I had this fever. So I took a Codopyrin tablet (I used to keep them in my wallet) and lay down on my upper berth. When I woke up and asked which station it is, they said it is Balasore at midnight. So, since it is 2 more hours to KGP I took another tablet and slept off.

When I next woke up and asked which station it was, they said Uluberia...past KGP.

I jumped down, collected my backpack and just got off while the train steamed off as if it was in a desperate hurry.

It was dawn and I thought I would purchase a ticket back to KGP and board the next local train. I could easily have gone out by the backdoor, present myself before the sleepy counter clerk and buy the return ticket which cost Rs 2 only.

But I was a Gandhian like Anna and so told the Station Master what happened thinking that he would let me off with the fare between KGP and Uluberia both ways.

But he went through the rule book minutely and slapped on me a fine of Rs 10 for oversleeping, double the onward fare from KGP to UBA (since it was the second stop...Pansura was the first after KGP) and the return fare by the Local.

He emptied my wallet pretty fine...pun intended.

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Anna Domini

Today the good old ToI broke a record of sorts.

ALL its front page headlines had to do with corruption stories of the high and the mighty:

1. Anna calling a Minister a 'liar' (privileged)

2. The Director General of the Anti-Corruption Bureau was shunted to a punishment posting as he was found guilty of alleged acts of corruption.

3.The Judge of a Calcutta High Court would be put through the Impeachment Proceedings in Lok Sabha on corruption charges of decades vintage even after he resigned apparently.

4. Speaker sacks her 'tainted secretary'.

The redeeming feature is the color photo of Lionel Messi in action...he is as slippery on the football field as he was at the Calcutta Airport ditching his waiting fans (corruptly).

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Donkey's Lament

DC Sports Page:

"Former England captain Nasser Hussain's controversial comparison of Indian fielders to 'donkeys' on Friday, drew flak from former cricketers and the BCCI which has promised to look into what it called 'totally uncalled for' remarks..."

gps: Donkey agrees:

http://gpsastry.blogspot.com/2009/02/donkeys-lament.html


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