Friday, March 1, 2013

Stuff Happens

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We are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little life is rounded with a sleep
 
 Shakespeare


People who are hungry and out of job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made
 
Franklin D Roosevelt


Well, that is the stuff we learned in our school. 'Stuff' for us meant the thing that makes dreams or dictatorships. Like the clay we collected on the river bed and modeled into tiny cups, saucers and shivlings which we dried in the sun, painted and showed off. 

By the time I settled down at IIT KGP in the 1970s stuff became insubstantial. This jeans-clad guest professor fresh from the 'States' (no longer America) would proclaim with needless hand-waving gestures:

"Oh, I teach first Ohm's Law and then Kirchhoff's laws and stuff, you know"

By the time I left KGP at the beginning of the new millennium, 'stuff' became something which 'happens':

"Well, I lost my purse and then my temper...stuff happens, you know"

'Stuff' became ethereal.

By the time I settled down in Hyderabad, 'stuff' that 'happens' got replaced back by something much more substantial albeit smellier than clay...

It has been fun for me to track the changing nuances of words from my village school times to moffusil college days to a local university years to an Indian Institute decades to the times at this big bang cosmopolis.

I didn't hear of 'sex' in my school. There was this column in our school-leaving register (SSLC) asking our HM to mention the 'gender' of the student: male or female. In the second year at our university, I first heard the word 'sex' uttered in hush-hush undertones. It meant the act...particularly in Hollywood hot movies shown in the dedicated theater, Leela Mahal. By the 1970s sex became less of libido and more of  Freud. By the 1990s it became an adjective as in 'sex appeal'...listen to Saswat:

"It is the Computer Science or Electronics people who had the mass sex appeal"

I am sure he wasn't referring to their excess ooze of hormones but mere employability. 'Sex' got completely denuded of its original appeal.

Take 'management'. To my Father and his contemporaries it meant 'manipulation'. To most of us in our student labs it meant plain and simple 'cooking up'...management of data. Then we heard of Business Management at our university and understood it as cooking up books. At IIT KGP finally I saw in the Central Library a prestigious journal titled 'Management Science'. Father would have laughed at it.


'Attitude' once meant nothing more nor less than posture. Nowadays it is something you better not have if you want that sexy job of a Project Manager.

'Popularity' was once a positive goody. Everyone wanted to have it. At IIT KGP it had acquired negative connotations...a cheap non-serious stuff that I was often accused of.

'New' was new forever. There was this New Talkies at Nellore which we used to queue up for tickets for the latest film in the 1950s. By then it was pretty old. The other day I saw that godown in the Trunk Road still wearing its name New Talkies proudly. Still showing the good old black and white recycled films.

Talking of new and old I am reminded of an unforgettable argument between Prof RNG (CHE, Bengali) and Prof SSC (Math, Sardarji) on the dining table at our Faculty Hostel in the early 1970s. RNG was a great storyteller. Once he held me spellbound all the way from the KGP Railway Station to our Faculty Hostel on our pushbikes talking about genetics.

That day at tea time he was talking to me about his recent trip to Delhi. And SSC joined by his side. RNG started with:

"I got down at the Old Delhi station..."

SSC butted in and contradicted him at once:

"There is nothing like Old Delhi station. Delhi station and New Delhi station"

RNG ignored him and resumed:

"I got down at the Old Delhi station"

"There is nothing like Old Delhi station. Delhi station and New Delhi station"

"There is a New Delhi and an Old Delhi, no?"

"So what? We are talking of the railway stations"

"There is an Old Testament and a New Testament, no?"

"But there is a New York, but no Old York"

"We have an Old Building and a New Building, no?"

"There is an England and a New England"

...I then left. So I don't know who won.

Then there was this other memorable exchange between Dr P (Tamilian) who was a visiting professor in math, and the mess secretary Dr KG (Bengali, IITian). Dr P was an incurable introvert fresh from the States talking to none but himself occasionally. Dr KG was an ebullient youngster. Dr P used to come down to breakfast and scowl at the toasted bread and butter (unlimited), push it away, and just sip a cup of coffee. He was obviously not used to morning tiffin. But used to feel hungry at teatime when we just had a couple of dog biscuits and a cup of tepid tea. 

So one day on the dining table Dr P appealed to Dr KG with bowed head mumbling:

"I would like to have my breakfast with Tea"

"Sure professor, you can have your breakfast with either tea or coffee or milk"

"I mean, I would like to have my breakfast with Tea!"

"Sure professor, you can have your breakfast with either tea or coffee or milk!"

"I mean, I would like to have my breakfast with Tea!!!"

"Sure professor, you can have your breakfast with either tea or coffee or milk!!!"

...I then left unable to control my laughter...both guys knew very well what was in the other's mind but didn't like to yield...

Crazy Hostel...crazy folks...


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