How to Get a Son

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1981: IIT KGP:

After waiting for all of 36 years, I got married at 36 :)

And soon thereafter, my baby was in the offing by God's Grace. 

My wife tested positive for her Gravindex test, was into her morning sickness (which turned me back into a cook for the nonce), I got to use her steth to listen intently to the heart beats of my baby in her womb, stopped smoking, and was by and large enjoying the expected arrival of the baby...would it be a boy or girl?...the suspense was terrific...

But soon I had to travel all of a thousand km to drop my dear wife at Jalgaon, the place where her parents were staying to supervise her delivery...sad! 

Sad because there were no telephones in the blessed KGP campus...Sam Pitroda was nowhere on our horizon then.

And the only talk between my wife and me was through the exchange of daily post cards...

...which suddenly ceased from her side for all of TEN days as she entered into her tenth month.

And I was forlorn with worry, and was keeping my tension under a tight lid, awaiting that telegram from my lackadaisical bachelor B-i-L.

...And then one evening there was this seminar in the Seminar Room. 

At that time, my HoD, Prof G, for reasons best known to himself, was dead against me, waiting for an opportunity to dismiss me (ha!). 

Indeed, during his 3-year tenure, he tried to book me thrice in what he lustily called: "Police Cases"; and made a joke of himself thrice...he was all of 2 decades older to me.

Out of sheer vindictiveness, he made me the Departmental Seminar-in-Charge for some bureaucratic Traveling-Allowance-Seminars which nobody bothered to attend but he was proud to preside.

Prof CLR was the reluctant speaker that evening (he had to get his TA approved by the HoD). 

The attendees were all of three: 

1. HoD, 2. Seminar-in-Charge (me) and 3. Dr RSS, my dear friend.

As soon as the nonsensical seminar was over, all of us oozed into the corridor.

And Prof G, annoyed at the poor attendance, charged me with dereliction of my duties since he was not able to preside over a hall-full of devotees applauding his post-seminar questions (all of them nonsensical and brushed aside by Prof CLR).

All the pent-up fury in me exploded and I went wild:

"What the hell do you mean? I got 20 copies of the Seminar Notice, put up three of them on our 3 Notice Boards, and dispatched 17 to all the 14 Departments and 3 Centers. Did you expect me to have stood at the Lovers' Circle, rounded up student-couples, and shepherded them into your Seminar Room to have a look at your ugly face? bla bla bla..."

Prof G, not known for his eloquence, was dumbfounded, stupefied, hammered, stammered, and tried to run away.

But I chased him all the way till the end of the corridor.

Prof CLR stood sagely nodding his head, enjoying the scene. 

Dr RSS was too scared to speak...he was a thorough gentleman (unlike me), and all of seven years younger.

He led me gently by my arm to the campus post office before it downed its shutters for the day. 

...And, lo and behold! There was this magical telegram waiting for me:

"Baby boy born. Mother and child safe".

...Next morning all my colleagues congratulated me.

And told me one after the other this RSS-Prescription: 

"Those of you who want sons, go at once to our HoD and abuse him stoutly"

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