Tall Gossip

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There is a cute picture in today's DC of Indian Officials welcoming their Pakistani counterparts ceremonially through the Wagah Border, which is known as the most ridiculous of all borders; see eg:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC9NeJh1NhI

One is struck by the commanding height of the Indian and Pakistani rival guards topped by even taller headgear with ceremonial plumes.

This is perhaps the only place other than the Basket Ball Field where, other things (like facial hair) being equal, height is an advantage.

When asked (naughtily) how long should one's legs be, Abe Lincoln (at 6' 4" the tallest of the US Presidents; Obama is 6' 1") is reputed to have said:

"Long enough to reach the ground"

(It is a different matter that Dr David Reuben quotes Lincoln to his hilarious advantage)

In general I have observed that really tall people have a better sense of humor and joke at their expense oftener than folks of average height.

This is a sort of 'Compensation Mechanism' for the unending trouble they face in a world designed for us average specimens.

The essence of the trouble is that while the shorter ones can use many devices to raise their height, the taller folks can in no way 'grow' short that easily.

When I was 8 and skeletal and 3' 6" tall, I was in great demand at the Ticket Counter of the Touring Talkies that used to arrive at our Village Muthukur once in a while for spells of a couple of months during the early 1950s. There was of course no queue discipline and might was right in front of the cubbyhole. My seniors used to drag me along and lift me up their shoulders and negotiate, beating the taller countrymen.

And I was given a lollipop each time I scored a hit.

Like Bernard Shaw claimed he was taller than Shakespeare but admitted he was standing on Shakespeare's shoulders.

My son was a nice 5' 5" in his Class X (and handsome to a fault). But within 6 months he grew by 3" like Alice in Wonderland, and started complaining that he can no longer see the writing on the blackboard. We took him to our very competent Ophthalmologist at KGP who prescribed good glasses.

Within another 6 months he put on another 3" and was complaining of unremitting headache. And I was thinking of taking him to a neuro-physician at Cal. By a stroke of luck, while we two were sitting on the culvert seat near the Main Gate Island, our Ophthalmologist was passing by on his scooter and greeted us. I stopped him and mentioned my son's persistent headache. He asked my son to stand up and said that he has grown too tall too fast for his eye balls to adjust and asked us to meet him in his chamber for a new set of glasses.

And, lo and behold, they worked! Headache gone!!!

But at around 6' my son has ample trouble squeezing himself into the side upper berth of Indian Railways constantly.

Ishani, now 1.7 years, has always been too tall for her age. And it is scary. For, she can reach switches, sockets, TV stand and all gadgets that are potentially harmful (either for her or them).

Our ancestors pondered over this problem of height and created wonderful stories in their mythology. They were ever craving for an 'adjustable height' and mention this capacity as one of the ashta siddhis (8 divine powers):

'animaa mahimaa chaiva garimaa laghimaa tatha
praptih praakamyam ishatvam vasitam chaashta siddhayaha"

Hanumanjee is reputed to have utilized this magical power when he encountered the demon Lankhini (?), the Gate Keepress of Sri Lanka who barred his way in. Apparently, he grew as short as 3 mm, entered her wide open GI Canal, where he grew at once to Abe Lincoln's height, thereby slitting the demon's abdomen, much like the Caesarian Sections of olden days.

And Lord Vishnu is supposed to have shrunk himself to the size of a laughable dwarf (Vaamana) while standing in the queue for donations offered by Raja Balijee; and after getting his requests granted, grew to an uncharitable height and asked for the moon.

By the way, while queue discipline was known then (and forgotten promptly), the story shows that our ancestors were firm votaries of 'flat-earth theory'. When I mentioned this anomaly to my HM Father, he brushed me aside saying that one should take the 'moral' of the scripture and not the 'letter' which is inconsequential according to him.

Reminds me of DB's story about his Ph D Supervisor at Delhi threatening with dismissal any scholar who came to him complaining that '4 pi' factors in front of his integral were not matching the text books. On the other hand, Feynman I remember, says somewhere that the '4 pi' factors are all important, because '4 pi' is an order of magnitude too large to be ignored {;-}, and whoever says they are trivial, has to be hanged like.

Tail Piece

I read today that a certain maid employed in a certain NY Hotel who claims to have been assaulted by a certain luminary is actually taller than him.

'She stoops to conquer' (Oliver Goldsmith)

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