Tweaked Tales

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In our Village School at Muthukur we had a youthful Maths Teacher, Harihara Sharma.

My HM Father didn't believe in 'Giving Games', a favorite pastime of reluctant teachers at KV KGP (at one time, not now). So, when the Telugu Pundit was absent, the HM would depute his Math Teacher to substitute, improvise and engage the class.

And Sharma Garu would ask one of our beck-benchers to reel out the story of, say, the Crow and the Fox.

And would shake his head and say that there is a modern version of the Fable. And we would all be ears and beg him to tell it. And he would clear his throat and narrate with dramatic gestures:

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There was this clever Crow up the tree eating her piece of bread. And this clever Fox would see her and butter her up saying:

"Crow, crow, lovely crow! I am told you are a melodious singer; won't you please sing a song for me?"

And the Crow would remove the piece of bread from her beak, insert it below her foot and sing a song or two.

Then the Fox would come up with a cleverer request:

"Crow, crow, sublime crow! I am told you are a lithe danseuse; won't you please dance for me?"

And the Crow would replace the piece of bread in her beak and dance like the devil.

Then the Fox would come up with his final appeal:

"How wonderful it would be to see you render a song and dance number!"

And the Crow would ask our Fox to wait a while, eat up her bread, and perform the item number Sheila ki Jawani (Ishani's favorite) gleefully.

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That is what I call a Tweaked Tale, like the many I rendered in the Class Rooms at KGP.

In her childhood my smart niece used to come to me with joke-requests.

And I would start:

Banta steals the King's ring and is caught in the act and given death sentence. He catches the King's feet and asks for a reprieve The King proclaims:

"You will be hanged if you tell the truth and shot if you tell a lie."

My niece would brush me aside saying it is a stale joke.

I would retort that Banta is special, not like Joe.

And she would ask how.

Banta broods silently for a long minute and decide:

"I will be hanged."

And he is!

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During our youth at our AU, the Telugu Film Industry used to come up with fascinating titles which were all Tweaked Tales from our epics; like:

"Krishna - Arjun Yuddham"

"Raama - Aajuneya Yuddham"

and books like:

"Keemayanam" (in which Raavan is the hero and Raam the villain)

all of which were much more enterprising and entertaining than the regular stale epic stories.

And I now believe that tweaking tales is high art

or

Research?

Every day I read tall tales in newspapers saying:

"Nicotine is good for digestion"

"Painkillers are bad for liver"

"Excessive water is bad for kidneys"

"Vitamins are bad for heart"

To say nothing of various food supplements and yogic postures for enhanced virility.



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