Friday, August 16, 2013

Ladies-Only Puja

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The auspicious month of Sravan is here...following the inauspicious one of Ashadha...for the folks of the Divided States of AP. 

Ashadha was quite inauspicious for me alright.

After waiting for all of 36 years (beginning from the womb), I got married in the sizzling month of May 1979. And on July 1st (B C Roy Birthday) I reached IIT KGP with my wife to set up our family life from scratch. And my wife was so different than me (luckily) that we both had a tough time trying to decode each other. 

And just as we started adjusting to our weird habits...she was a lark and I an owl...arrived this Ashadha month in end-July. 

And a 'wire' arrived from my Pop-in-Law at Jalgaon (Maharashtra) asking my wife to leave her hubby in the lurch at KGP and get back home pronto. I asked my wife what the matter was. And she said there was this custom that it is inauspicious for the newly-wed Daughter-in-Law and her Mom-in-Law to stay together in Ashadham. But I reminded my wife that her Mom-in-Law (my mom) was all of 1200 km away at Gudur. But, replied my wife, she was at KGP hovering over her D-i-L in spirit.

Strange...but this rule was laid down when joint families were the norm and newly-wed girls started living with their hubbies and their parents and folks. And like all such rules this too was inflexible. 

So I had to book her ticket to Jalgaon and see her off...for all of a month till the blessed Sravan arrived. 

But there was a consolation...two days after my wife left KGP the postman knocked on my door and delivered a fabulous windfall...a Money Order for all of Rs 100 ( = Rs 10000 now). And the sender was my Pop-in-Law and the message at the bottom said it was the customary Ashadha Patti, the sweetener for the hubby to ease his pangs of separation. That was most welcome, for, that was precisely the cost of a month of Wills Flakes for me @ 2 packets a day...I was a hearty smoker then...out of post-marital heebie-jeebies.

And she returned on the first available train in Sravan. And then came a Tuesday. And she said she had to perform the compulsory Mangala Gouri Vratam. This was a ladies-special Puja where the hubby had no role to play except footing the bill and getting lost in the Department. And in the evening she asked me names and addresses of 5 Telugu Brahmin Married Unwidowed Undivorced Ladies in the Campus...apparently she had to visit them and distribute coconuts and paan leaves and kumkum and haldi to each of them.

I was naturally lost...I knew only one lady filling the bill...the wife of my close friend NP. And I took her there and she...by a process similar to the Ponzi scams...found the others...and soon my wife joined the holy group much in demand next year onwards.

Then came the Friday before the Full Moon of Sravan (Rakhi in Hindi heartland).

This Friday is extra-special for Andhra Ladies. My wife told me that she had to perform an elaborate Puja called Varalaxmi Puja on this day...once again a ladies-special. And asked me to fetch a coconut with its tuft intact. And within minutes she turned it, with the aid of kumkum, hadli, bindis, and surma into the beautiful face of Goddess Laxmi. And did Puja with lots and lots of flowers to Varalaxmi. And payas and lemon rice and vadas to me.

I wanted to gift her some useful item for her Puja. I flew to the Gole Bazaar on my ancient pushbike and looked into the Pujara Shop which sold stainless steel utensils. And I found just the thing I wanted...a massive and roomy tray with lots of floral designs engraved on it. And Pujarajee encouraged me to buy it at once since that was the only piece he had ordered and there was a huge demand for it...and ladies who saw it clasped it to their bosoms...but their hubbies scolded them and dragged them away on hearing its price tag @ Rs 50 ( = Rs 5000 now).

I bought it...

When I returned home with the thing, and my wife was immensely pleased, and asked me how much it cost, she broke down into joyful tears...we never looked back on our conjugal bliss...it is these small things that matter apparently.

The other day I asked my D-i-L if that 34-year-old tray is still with us. And she confirmed that it has survived everything life had thrown at it.

It is as solid as ever but the floral designs have faded and the shine on its gleaming surface has sort of mellowed down like life itself.

Today my D-i-L performed her Varalaxmi Puja...with her hubby as her server, her daughter as her helper, and her F-i-L as the Punditjee reading the Puja Paath aloud and instructing when to light the dhoop, when to give arti, and when to offer prosad...

Here are the links to the pics:

 http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2013/08/varalaxmi-puja-1.html


 http://gpsastry.blogspot.in/2013/08/varalaxmi-2.html



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