Monday, August 19, 2013

Mind Reading

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"Do you mean to say that you read my train of thoughts from my
features?"

"Your features and especially your eyes.  Perhaps you cannot yourself
recall how your reverie commenced?"

"No, I cannot."

"Then I will tell you.  After throwing down your paper, which was the
action which drew my attention to you, you sat for half a minute with a
vacant expression.  Then your eyes fixed themselves upon your newly
framed picture of General Gordon, and I saw by the alteration in your
face that a train of thought had been started.  But it did not lead
very far.  Your eyes flashed across to the unframed portrait of Henry
Ward Beecher which stands upon the top of your books.  Then you glanced
up at the wall, and of course your meaning was obvious.  You were
thinking that if the portrait were framed it would just cover that bare
space and correspond with Gordon's picture there."

"You have followed me wonderfully!" I exclaimed.

"So far I could hardly have gone astray.  But now your thoughts went
back to Beecher, and you looked hard across as if you were studying the
character in his features. Then your eyes ceased to pucker, but you
continued to look across, and your face was thoughtful.  You were
recalling the incidents of Beecher's career.  I was well aware that you
could not do this without thinking of the mission which he undertook on
behalf of the North at the time of the Civil War, for I remember your
expressing your passionate indignation at the way in which he was
received by the more turbulent of our people.  You felt so strongly
about it that I knew you could not think of Beecher without thinking of
that also.  When a moment later I saw your eyes wander away from the
picture, I suspected that your mind had now turned to the Civil War,
and when I observed that your lips set, your eyes sparkled, and your
hands clenched I was positive that you were indeed thinking of the
gallantry which was shown by both sides in that desperate struggle. But
then, again, your face grew sadder, you shook your head.  You were
dwelling upon the sadness and horror and useless waste of life.  Your
hand stole towards your own old wound and a smile quivered on your
lips, which showed me that the ridiculous side of this method of
settling international questions had forced itself upon your mind. At
this point I agreed with you that it was preposterous and was glad to
find that all my deductions had been correct."

"Absolutely!" said I.  "And now that you have explained it, I confess
that I am as amazed as before."

...Conan Doyle in The Adventure of the Cardboard Box

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I think that is a bit too much for even a mind reader as clever as Sherlock Homes and a mind as dumb as Watson's.

I guess everyone is a mind reader of sorts...it is such a survival need. 

Adi Sankara, in the Introduction to his tome: Vedanta Sutra Bhashya, says that even a cow knows the intentions of her keeper when he is approaching her with a stick in his hands or a sheaf of grass. I never kept any pet, but I am sure pet dogs and cats can read the moods of their masters.

Kids can read the minds of their parents alright. When she was but two, Ishani ran to our bedroom one evening and jumped on my cot. I asked her what the matter was and she said that her parents were about to fight. And I asked her if they were fighting. And pat came her reply:

"I said they are about to fight"

But as they grow into parents, kids lose the power to read the minds of their kids...especially when they enter into their teens.

After a decade and more of coexistence, peaceful or otherwise, wives and husbands claim they can read their partner's minds. There was this story of a somewhat erratic husband (like Andy Capp maybe) going out late in the evening with the excuse to his wife that he wanted to buy a packet of cigarettes in the corner store before it closed. And he finds a lady there and they get friendly and she drives him to her home. And they have a rather good time of it and, after 4 hours, the hubby gets up to return home. And this lady asks him what excuse he would give his wife for his late night excursion. And he asks her to give him her tin of talcum powder and pours it on his hands and rubs it on them. And tells her:

"I don't have to give my wife any excuse...she will shout at me: 'I knew you would abscond to your pool game...switch off the lights and get back to bed'..."

My Guru, SDM, was always so immersed in his theoretical physics problems that he became as dumb as Watson for his mind readers. There was a spell of 6 or 7 weekends in 1974 when he would ask me to go to his Qrs sharp at 2 PM so he could read the draft of my thesis and dispose it off. But of course he never read it. As soon as I sat down in his Guest Bedroom which he converted into his Study, he would fetch his bag having the draft of my forlorn thesis and start talking and talking on all subjects under the Sun except my thesis.

At  5 PM his wife would ask us for Tea into their dining room. And as he and I took our seats opposite each other, his face would fall and he would grimace. Seeing which, his wife would smile and tell him aloud in Bengali:

"Don't you worry...there are enough loochies in the kitchen...I made some more for him too." 

And then he would be as happy as Ishani when she gets her Kinder Joy.  

The strange thing about SDM was that this scene would repeat every weekend sharp at  5 PM. 

And then we would retreat to his Study and he would resume his gabbing till 10 PM when his wife would call him for dinner...and I would return to my Faculty Hostel empty-handed...

Teachers get to read the minds of their students, especially the impatient ones. It is part of their professional calling. When they find the noise level going up they have to take steps, like changing the topic or telling a joke.

The limit was Professor KVR at IIT KGP. Once I had a chance to sneak-peak into his khata which he invariably took to his lecture classes...he had left it in my room when he came to drag me to the canteen as an accomplice...he could never go there alone.  And he forgot to pick it up and I had to go to his room to return it.

Well, who isn't curious about his colleagues? So I opened it for a quick glance and found, scribbled in its margins, after every 3 or 4 paras:

"Joke...Joke...Joke..."

Students of course learn to read the minds of their teachers...in the IIT system, at least, where everything like setting question papers, grading them and giving recos is a completely internal affair. And they have the advantage of hearing stories about their teachers from their seniors.

There was this story doing the rounds at KGP during my time:

In an Engg Department, there were two senior professors A and B sharing an office. The evening before the exam of Prof A, a student would visit their room and approach him with his khata and ask him a doubt for clarification. And Prof A would say:

"It is not important"

And the student would know and spread the word that this topic is not going to appear in their Question Paper tomorrow. And after a few minutes another student would go to Prof A with another doubt in another topic. And if there is a repeat of:

"It is not important",
  
they would know that that topic too is out.

On the other hand when they approach Prof B with the same technique and if he answers similarly:

 "It is not important",

then they would know, by reputation, that this topic would be sure to be there in the QP tomorrow.

Either way, after a few students visit their two Profs, they would get to know what to read and what to omit during that late night cram.

I don't think many people, students or colleagues, could read my mind...I am inscrutable as you all know by now ;)

But there was this Prof VVR who one day said in public, in my hearing:

"gps is as hard as nails"

As nice a compliment I ever got.


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