Friday, August 30, 2013

Party Spirit - 1

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My worthy friend Sir Roger, when we are talking of the malice of parties, very frequently tells us an accident that happened to him when he was a school-boy, which was at a time when the feuds ran high between the Round-heads and Cavaliers. This worthy knight being then but a stripling, had occasion to inquire which was the way to St. Anne's Lane, upon which the person whom he spoke to, instead of answering his question, called him a young popish cur, and asked him who had made Anne a saint ! The boy being in some confusion, inquired of the next he met, which was the way to Anne's Lane; but was called a prick-eared cur for his pains; and instead of being shown the way, was told, that she had been a saint before he was born, and would be one after he was hanged. Upon this, says Sir Roger, I did not think fit to repeat the former question, but going into every lane of the neighbourhood, asked what they called the name of that lane. By which ingenious artifice he found out the place he inquired after, without giving any offence to any party...

...Joseph Addison, Spectator (1771) 

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...At this point, she stepped back until she was directly in front of Albertino and the Duchess, who were listening in intent silence to what I had to say. Then she threw out her arms, raised her eyes to heaven and said with desperate passion:

'What do you know of mother love? You can take everything away from me. Tear my flesh and step on me! Starve me and send me to die in a ditch; let snow cover my lifeless body! But don't take my children away!'

Automatically, as if they were obeying orders, the Duchess and Albertino stepped forward and stood one on either side of their mother as if to defend her. There were only two of them but together with Margherita they looked like a squadron and there was a look of defiance in their eyes. Margherita stood motionless, a veritable statue of maternal despair, and I got up to leave the room in disgust.

At the doorway I turned dramatically and said, 'Margherita, I beg of you. Don't make a stranger of me in my own home. Don't let the legend on my tombstone read simply: "Here he lies." There, at least, let my children read their father's name!'

This appeal to the tomb had quite an effect on the Duchess. She left her mother's side and came over to me.

'Pay no attention!' she whispered. 'She's nuts.'...

...The House that Nino Built

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During my long life I haven't seen a place which didn't have parties...I mean the politic ones. 

They were there in families, at school, in college, at the University and IIT KGP, and in residential complexes of Hyderabad to which I am confined nowadays.

Long time ago I read in Hiriyanna's 'Outlines of Indian Philosophy' a quote attributed to Brahma from the Rig Veda that went something like:

"When two men conspire against a third, I am there as a witnessing fourth"

And one of the Ten Commandments goes like:

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"

In our 1-year Pre-University Course, we had to necessarily take one of the Arts subjects even though we were interested in pursuing sciences. And I took what was called Civics. I hated it. Needless to say I never had any civic sense...

...The other day my son asked me to be careful not to spit anywhere in the Common Area of our Gated Community. Maybe he has seen me doing this often...spitting is the birthright of Indians. I asked him what the matter was. And he showed me elaborate Facebook capers going on nowadays in our Gated Community in which a lady went viral after her hubby had a tiff with another resident whom he found spitting near the lift in the basement area. 

The 'offending' resident apparently retorted with the famous Kendriya Vidyalaya repartee:

"tere ko kya re!" ("What's it to you?")

The matter seems to have sublimated only because the 'offender', like me, was not on Facebook, happily.

Anyway, the first lesson in our Civics Text Book was on what was called the 'Scope of Civics'...on which an essay question was sure to appear every other year. The intervening year the question that replaced it was:

"Man is a social animal...explain"

This animal thing by the way was the first sentence of the first chapter on Scope.

And I am told by my friends who took Politics instead of Civics that the first sentence in their book went like:

"Man is a political animal"

Those were the days when we didn't hear of feminism, equal rights, and sexual harassment at workplaces. Nowadays I guess there would be a revolt against those leading sentences for using 'Man' instead of the more politically correct 'Person'. Women may object that they have been left out of Civics and Politics. Also they may protest about animals.

As we know now, women are no less political than men, at least in India. America has yet to elect a woman president, but everyone knows that the American Civilization is just about a couple of hundred years old unlike ours which is a couple of thousand at the least. 

This reminds me of the Gandhiji joke: 

Apparently an American lady asked Gandhijee:

"What do you think of Western Civilization?"

Gandhiji thought for a moment and replied:

"I think it is a good idea...it should be done"

Coming to politics in households, I came to know recently that, according to the Hindu Code Bills, father is the 'natural guardian' of his kids. This is a matter which will be contested vehemently by mothers now. Because, the Hindu Code Bills were passed in 1955 (my times) and during those days, unlike now, fathers were the sole breadwinners and mothers didn't go to schools and were 'confined' to their homes. The situation is obviously different now...the law has yet to catch up.

So we kids were mostly like Albertino and the Duchess, siding with mothers instinctively. We saw mother all the time and fathers rarely. And when hungry it was our mothers we fled to rather than our fathers who knew only eating and no cooking.

Unlike now when males are equally adept in the kitchen if not more.

The other day I asked a young lady with a school-going kid:

"Do you think it is an advantage to have a hubby who knows cooking?"

She thought for a pregnant moment and said emphatically:

"No!"


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