Sunday, October 26, 2014

Calcutta Winter - Repeat Telecast

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The story is told of a Russian Tourist who fell in love with Calcutta so badly that he wanted to visit it in every season and relish the renowned Calcutta Charm. Things went beautifully in Spring, Summer and Autumn. And then he came down in the first week of January when, he was told by Calcutta Connoisseurs, winter would be at its peak. He checked into the Grand and told the bell-boys to wake him up when winter arrived. Which they did, and asked him to step out in a hurry. Which he did after bare minimum ablutions. And asked the bell-boys:

"Where, where, where is the famed Calcutta winter?" 

And was told that he was late and it came and went away while he was in the bathroom. And they asked him to come again next winter and better be on his toes.

Two hours from Calcutta, you would expect the KGP winter too would be as evanescent. Sorry, you are wrong. Last year, I was told by my surviving KGP friends, the winter there was as long, deep and broad as the very pits. Two more hours from KGP it is the genuine stuff in Jamshedpur.

For a kid like me born and brought up in a seaside Village where it is sunny for all of ten months in a year and rainy the other two months, winter is an unknown affair. In our District HQ, Nellore, you won't find a single shop selling sweaters, pullovers, gloves, woolen socks, caps (monkey or donkey), or ladies watching cricket matches knitting woolens for their kith and kin. 

That reminds me...my friend BKM (of the Ukridge fame) came to our Faculty Club one winter evening along with his wife. There was a musical extravaganza going on and Mrs BKM was watching it from a back row chair knitting a pullover for her hubby. And I pulled BKM aside and told him: 


"Your wife looks very like Madame Defarge." 

He exploded into a boisterous laughter turning all eyes on us before we could slip quietly away. Mrs BKM never forgave us.

For a chap not used to wearing a sweater for all of his first 20 years, it is impossible to get into that heavy straitjacket. If you don't believe me, ask Ramanujan how he suffered and withered in his cold room at Cambridge.

So, I used to shiver, but never wore anything but a half shirt over a banian above waistline. And our dadas who unpacked their winter woollies as soon as Durga Puja ended were wondering if I was real. And they had no hesitation in approaching me in public and stopping me in my tracks and peering beneath my bush shirt to see if I was wearing a concealed woolen sweater underneath my banian. It was then that I knew how Draupadi must have felt.

As for footwear I was in my chappals most of the time. There were two theories doing the rounds about me:

1. gps is too poor to buy a proper winter outfit.

2. He has a secret fire burning within him (other than the eternal fire made by W. D. & H. O. Wills) 

Even my Guide SDM was not above advising me. Late one evening I went to his Qrs to discuss some problem and he talked and talked for an hour after it was solved. And while seeing me off at his door, he stared at me and said:

"You should buy a coat"


He was then wearing a coat over a sweater over a banian maybe and gloves and a monkey-cap and was shivering even with his hands in his coat-pockets. The outside temperature was 15 deg Celsius. But of course he was then 57 and I a mere 30.

By the time I was 57 at KGP, I was feeling the cold and was forced to wear the Princeton Jersey gifted by Kapeel, and Bata Executive shoes, but hated it all and was yearning to get out of KGP in winters.

And finally I did it....and landed in Hyderabad...a different cup of Irani chai altogether...





...Posted by Ishani

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