Sunday, November 16, 2014

Confessional - Repeat Telecast

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The other day there was this piquant news item in DC:

There was this 81-year-old man in England who suffered a massive stroke. And when he woke up he started speaking Welsh fluently. And forgot English completely. His doctors were baffled and inquiries revealed that as a boy during the Second World War he was evacuated to Wales which he left 70 years ago. He never learned Welsh while there but imbibed it as a boy from hearsay. Everyone is trying to teach him to speak English but they haven't succeeded, yet.

As is the custom with doctors and other professionals, they had to classify this condition and they called it: Aphasia.

I know all about it from personal experience. Indeed I deem myself an expert on the subject.

For all of 50 years I never read nor taught nor wrote anything but Physics which was my bread and butter and jam and bun and eggs and tea. Then I retired. And I was confident that I would continue teaching and reading and writing Physics till my bitter end. That seemed the natural thing to do. A retired doctor continues doctoring and a retired policeman continues policing and a retired bureaucrat continues bureaucrating, within their families at the least.

But then I sank into an unexpected and unintended spell of deep depression for 2 years during which I neither read nor wrote nor spoke much of anything. I strongly advise you not to do it if you can, unless you wish to follow my hallowed footsteps.

And when I woke up, I forgot all Physics and resisted people's efforts to make me speak or write or read it.

Instead I started writing absolute but apparently readable trash in English which I learned at the feet of my father in my Village Muthukur. 

If this is not aphasia, I don't know what is...


 




So, these days my reading is confined to DC and ToI, two newspapers I devour like a famished Muthukur donkey...RKN, who seems to have had an upbringing similar to mine but two decades removed, wrote that he tried his best to find the difference between an ass and a donkey but found none...and declared that when one tires of talking of asses one picks up donkeys...and he never could find what donkeys (or asses) subsist on other than old newspapers like The Hindu.

I read the two newspapers with a relish from beginning to end...after all they cost me Rs 200 odd per month and I have to squeeze my pound of flesh like Shylock.

But I skip any article on Physics like the God Particle. Also cricket. Also movies. Aphasia again.

I read every little item on politics in both the papers though they are repetitive. 

Also every bit on Bengal...naturally...though there is very little of Bengal in Hyderabad editions. But what little is there is titillating since it involves my fond Didi. I find hers an arresting personality (pun half-intended).

For instance, here is her declamation on a subject that everyone is seized with over the past 3 weeks:


"Rapes are happening because men and women are interacting more freely"

....ToI, Page 15 Sunday January 6, 2013




This, coming from a lady CM, surely eclipses the dented painted stuff by the mere son of our President.

Naturally, I went into a samadhi visualizing what sort of an IIT we would be having at KGP (WB) if Didi were to have her full say:

There would be separate class rooms for girls from boys. Also separate labs. And their teachers would be women. And girl research scholars would be allotted to lady supervisoresses. And their examiners would also be ladies. There would be a separate Senate for lady professors. Also a lady registrar for redressing their grievances. Boys wouldn't be allowed to mix with girls in the few eateries...girls would have separate screened enclosures. There would be separate entries for girls and boys into the Institute.  And so on and so forth. 

But the fly in the ointment is that there are only one or two lady senators. And a handful of girls in most departments. And one or none girl-scholars.

So, Didi may suggest that IIT KGP should henceforth be reserved for girls only on an All-India Basis. All girls now being admitted to all the other IITs should be shifted to KGP. It would be the only Girl-IIT in the country. Boys and male professors there should be accommodated in the other male IITs. And the new IIT KGP (Girls Only) should be a fortress with a 15-foot wall, with spikes embedded on it.

No joking.

For, here is another similar news item suggesting how rapes can be wiped out:

"Among their suggestions is abolition of co-education, declaring all sex outside legal marriage illegal, complete ban of alcohol in the country, and public execution of those involved in heinous crimes"... 

... Jamaat-e-Islami Hind

...ToI, Page 9 Tuesday January 8, 2013



...Posted by Ishani

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