Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Naygooders - Repeat Telecast

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The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;

 Shakespeare


 


To be totally honest, I don't think I have a criminal mind.

But I have to admit I have a crooked mind alright.

Let me explain:

Whenever I think of Lord Raam, I don't recall all his great qualities but the thing that bobs up uppermost in my mind is his treachery in killing Vaali.

And when I think of Lord Krishna, it is not his sublime Gita that I recall but his love life with all those 16000 odd Gopikas.

When I think of Lord Buddha, I see him leaving his home at midnight slyly, deserting his wife and infant son.

And when I think of Gandhiji, I am prone to recall all the weaknesses he flaunted in his 'Experiments with Truth'.

And when I look back on Nehru, it is his fondness for the Mountbattens and Kennedys that pops up.

And there was this Morarji Desai who was for a while India's PM and for a long while the CM of Bombay and as incorruptible a politician as none is today. But it is his weakness for AUT (Auto Urine Therapy) that comes up in my sick mind.

But I guess I am not alone...IIT KGP's bureaucracy was like me before the advent of the recent RTI (Right To Information) Act.

During my days, there was this Confidential Report (CR) for every staff member to be signed by the HoD and a senior colleague of his. It was confidential only in a perverse way. If the staff member got glowing reports, they were not shown to him...it was Confidential, no?

But, if the report was bad and the chap got less than 50% or so, it was shown to the employee, ostensibly to let him know his weaknesses so he can improve his performance. But in truth it was to justify why he couldn't be confirmed or promoted.

In 1975, I submitted my Ph D thesis to IIT KGP under the guidance of SDM, the then HoD. SDM didn't trust Indian examiners and so he sent a copy of my thesis to C. H. Papas of Caltech. At that time there was this Prof Kshitin Naha who was esteemed as the Father of Himalayan Geology in Calcutta Circles. He was a forbidding personality with a caustic tongue and a spell at Caltech behind him and was an exceedingly well-read man. And a bachelor to boot. He had sly access to all the fresh-from-the-oven Ph. D. reports he wanted to see from the Academic Section by virtue of his influence.

A month after I submitted my thesis I was walking along the corridor leading to the Bhatnagar Auditorium, hugging the left wall since I saw Prof Naha approaching by the right wall. Seeing me, he crossed over and stopped me and said:

"I have just seen your Caltech Report that arrived yesterday. It is beautiful."

And before I could say thank you, he vanished...

And after another month when all the reports arrived duly to the desk of SDM, he called me and showed me slyly how good the reports were...implicitly praising himself. 

And after the viva was through and I was declared passed, I went to the Academic Section and met the Assistant Registrar who was well-disposed towards me and asked him if I could please have a certified copy of my Caltech Report.

And he smiled and said:

"No! Ph. D. Reports are confidential...they are shown to the candidate only when there are adverse comments."

I was struck dumb...

Perhaps IIT KGP had a premonition that one day after 40 years I would be retiring, settling down in Hyderabad, and take to furious blogging...and may upload my sweet Caltech Report and start braaaaagging!!! 

Nonetheless... 


 Postscript

Once upon a time there was a Dean of Academic Affairs who used to visit each Department and meet its students to get their feedback. His opening remark was famous:

"I don't want to know anything good about your Department, for, I know it already (to be non-existent) ;)

Tell me all the weaknesses of your Department!" 

  





...Posted by Ishani


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