Tempus Abdicatio - Repeat Telecast

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http://lowres.jantoo.com/retirement-old-age-lifetime_achievement-lifetime_achievement_award-old_man-retired-old-12261404_low.jpg

The other day I read that our greatest batsman of all time (as per records) was pissed off with an ex-cricketer who had the temerity to suggest that it is time the li'l one hangs up his boots; and came back with a bang of a couple of centuries. He is reported to have said something like: 

"I am the one who decides when I should retire"...

Bravo! Well said, champ....lucky you are not a Government Servant like I was. 

Arjun was summoned by Krishna to Dwaraka to escort the ladies and infants (who survived the Yadav holocaust) to Hastinapur before Dwaraka got swept off the India Map by an imminent tsunami. And he went there and found Krishna dead and was inconsolable. While on his way back with the said ladies and infants, his party was attacked by a band of reckless savages. And Arjun wielded his matchless Gandiv and fired all his sasthras and asthras (guided missiles, ballistic and nihilistic). But none of them reached their target...they plunked down near his feet like a golf ball teed off by a fatso beginner. 

Bowed down and bruised, he reached  Hastinapur and wept over the shoulder of his eldest brother, Yudhisthir, who calmed him down, saying:

"My dear Boy! Our time is up! It is now prudent for us to renounce our kingdom, pass the baton to youngsters waiting in the wings, don bark-robes, do a Mahaprasthan and try to attain Heaven by rock-climbing" 

Few have the good sense of Yudhisthir...

My B-i-L told me this cute story...he was into his crucial IAS Interview, all nerves, and jittery. The tough guy on the right side of the table asked him:

"Why is Ashoka called The Great?"

My B-i-L's first instinct was to go back to his school book and say:

"Because he dug many wayside wells, planted lots of trees, widened the roads..."

But his Guardian Angel shut him up in time and prompted this reply:

"Because he renounced war after his biggest victory and converted to non-violent Buddhism"

And my B-i-L was in...

Government Servants in general, and IAS chaps in particular, have these anomalous career plots looking like ramps:

 http://www.in.all.biz/img/in/catalog/middle/120271.jpeg?rrr=1

We climb our hard way up and when we reach the pinnacle of our glory we are suddenly dumped down like garbage into its bin...tough to get used to this sudden loss of power and prestige if not pelf. And we go about boring unwilling listeners with tall tales of our past glory. 

I had this miserable experience when I had to routinely listen to the repeat autobiography of a Chief Engineer that started with:

"I am a retired Chief Engineer...not a Cheap Engineer like nowadays"

And it went on and on for hours at each stretch. After the first couple of times, I used to play games with myself betting what would be his next sentence...

"I ticked off my Army Chief when he came visiting Bhutan...I never cared..."

I propose that all Government Servants should have their careers like bell-shaped Gaussian curves:

http://www.getmilked.com/comics/comics/WhereAreYouOnTheGaussianCurve.jpg

Talking of IITs, of which I know a bit, there should be a rule like in the Bhatnagar Award that the Director's post have an upper age limit of 45 at the entry point; and there should be no extension or re-employment in this post. After completing his 5-year tenure (if he can) he should be made to roll down...to DD and Dean and HoD and ToD and retire in total obscurity. 

Of course their salary should keep on increasing as on a ramp because their family responsibilities keep increasing with age. Particularly at IIT KGP where folks are in general so busy researching that they get their first kid when they are well into their furious forties...I got mine at 38...just about broke even...

In general the powers of Government Servants should follow Eliot's stanza:

This is the way their powers end

This is the way their powers end

This is the way their powers end

Not with a bang but a simper

Sorry, I seem to have gotten Eliot's lines mixed up a bit...like Alice in her 'You are old Father William'...


...Posted by Ishani


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